Sunday, April 28, 2013
JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #365
Sun, April 28, 2013 | link
I AM THE GREATEST JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #365!
3,700+ TWAT FOLLOWERS CAN’T BE WRONG: https://twitter.com/CREEM
SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Iggy And The Stooges – Ready To Die (Fat Pussum)
:: Now listen up and listen good, pilgrim. Just because I’m the #BigFuckingDeal co-authorized biographer of The Stooges
doesn’t mean that I’m on their payola payroll by a long shot. Which means, speaking of long shots, that there
was nothing better that I’d have liked to have done than to lift my leg on this album and let it blurt ’till it
But seein’ as how I already left a load leaking down that
limpoid new David Bozo disc, maybe it’s just as well that I’m all spunked out because, strangely believe it, this
new 40th Anniversary Edition ain’t all that bad even if parts of it do give you a flaccid flashback,
just like the album title itself does, in a “Feel Like I’m Fixin’ To Die” way.
The striking Jimmy “Dyn-O-Mite”
Walker front cover tribute pose that the singer strikes is an unabashed updated take on Todd Rundgren’s advert for his
seminal Something/Anything? album. You know, that’d be the one wherein Todd has a big wad of fused TNT in one
hand and a lit match in the other while the caption dares the consumer to: GO AHEAD. IGNORE ME.
Then, when the singer pseudo snarls on “Gun” (which ain’t the John Cale ditty): “If
I had a fucking gun, I could shoot at everyone” it’s an admirable alternate angle on Bill Wyman’s 1974 neighborhood
threat: “I’d like to get me a gun and scare the shit out of everyone.”
Later, when the singer advises during the same song that: “Money is a waste of time, but I made sure I got mine!”
is it anywhere nearly as sagacious as when he used to squirt out pearls of jizzdom as: “I’m healthy as a horse,
but everything is spinning” or “I am your crazy driver, honey I’m sure to steer you wrong”? Perhaps
not, but it sure comes close.
And as any aging porn star will tell you between
cunny shots: coming close is better than not coming at all—and there’s more than enough spew stew left in them
thar lizardo loins to thoroughly goo you through.
That’s mainly because
of the meat packers who provide the purée that propels this pud: namely, Steve Mackay on honky tonk saxophonics; Pedro
Watt on basso profoundo; James Williamson on axe-o-rama; and the star of our show, the baddest criminal at large in the power
house, the legendary Stooges co-founder, the truly irreplaceable Scott “Rock Action” Asheton, who’s still
skillfully slammin’ the skins into submission like there’s no tomorrow.
But there’s always a yesterday, so don’t you worry ’bout a thing if the beginning of “Job”
reminds you of the beginning of “Loose” because that ain’t no grand theft audio, that’s nothing less
than a heartfelt Jamesonian Institution tip of the skull to all the past blitzkrieg battle campaigns that Stooge Staffel Field
Marshal Ron Asheton (ret.) led—and if you don’t believe me that it’s a crêpe-draped tribute of the
highest new order, then all you have to do is just listen to how the aching ode “The Departed” ends and see
if you don’t end up shedding a tear or two.
However, lest you think that
this dust up is little more than a summer rerun, I’m pleased as punch to report that things really heat up
during the second half, starting with a title track that breaks new sonic soil with a radically different Stoneswagger that’s
never been heard on a Stoogeplatter before.
Then that’s followed up with
the pulchritudinous Russ Meyer top heavy tribute “DD’s” which sounds as if it was recorded at Stax—if
you catch my upper balcony drift. When the singer ain’t too proud to beg that: “I’m on my knees for those
double Ds” he’s giving the Flat Chest Society a much-needed antidote to Rod Stewart’s intolerant anti-implant
anthem “Silicone Grown.”
Look, I could continue waxing euphonic
about how fantoonie this sonic sizzler is, but your time would be far better spent spinning it instead—if only so you
can hear the singer rhyme “friendship” with “death trip” on the final track.
And they call Dylan a poet.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #364
Sun, April 21, 2013 | link
RIDE ’EM JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #364!
3,400+ TWITTER FOLLOWERS CAN’T BE WRONG: https://twitter.com/CREEM
Justin Bieber – “I’m A Belieber” b/w “Daydream
Belieber” (Colgems) :: Worst Monkees cover ever. Points deducted for having the bad taste to sing the A Side in
pidgin German: “She’s a Belieber, I couldn’t liebe her if I tried.”
Lou Reed – Transformers: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
(RCA) :: Sell out.
Living Color –
“Cult Of Personality” (Live At Wrestlemania XXIX) :: Not bad for a bunch of old guys, which reminds me:
Rolling Stones – 50 And Counting
Tour (1962-2013) :: “The Rolling Stones lasting twenty, thirty years—what a stupid idea that
would be.” – Lester Bangs, CREEM, December 1973
SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK – SIDE NOW: Hot As Sun – Night Time Sound Desire (Last
Gang) :: Any band that names itself after the title of a mythical late ’60s Beatles album that was never released automatically
gets bonus points in my little black book for arcane chutzpah, but then they have the additional know it all smarts to back
up that brilliant brain burstola by waxing a record that defines how charming and endearing electropop music can be these
Because, if anything, this one sounds like Julee
Cruise fronting Portishead as lushly produced with minimality by David Lynch and Angelo Badalamenti, only a whole heckuva
lot more upbeat. And what’s wrong with that? I’d like to know.
SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK – SIDE THEN: Arthur Fiedler & The
Boston Pops & Chet Atkins – The Pop Goes Country (Real Gone Music) :: This unlikely
but nevertheless practically perfect in every way pairing of old bully Fiedler and young studsy Atkins first came out in 1966
and it’s just as pleasant a slice of sonic seasoning today as you’re likely to hear. Some snooty snobs will call
this an unworthy waste of Atkins’ talent, but these are the same hypocrites who ecstatically extol Charlie Christian
for playing with Benny Goodman back in the ’30s so you just pay them no mind, y’hear?
Me, I was brought up listening to Mitch Miller’s sing-along sides so you can trust
me when I tell you that this record, which features selections by Bob Wills and Hank Williams and Atkins himself, is nothing
to be embarrassed by—especially since it’s a titanic twofer paired with another classic Fielder Pops romp, namely
1968’s The Pop Goes West which contains, amongst others, Cole Porter’s “Don’t Fence Me In”
and the future retro classic “Bonanza” theme by Jay Livingston and Ray Evans.
Be seeing you!