MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #710.657.295.347.399.554!
This is Bob “Media Blackout” Hope coming to you live from the Big Room upstairs where I’m filling
in for Jeffrey Morgan, who’s away this week celebrating Christmas by listening to some of the latest rice-paddy platters
in Da Nang Trong province. You know what ‘Da Nang Trong’ means, don’t you? That’s Vietnamese for “Exit
strategy? We don’t need no stinking exit strategy.”
but I’m really thrilled to be here on the road to ruin, as my good friend Joey Ramone would say. In fact, all of the
Ramones are up here, although it took them a while to clear customs. They were forty pounds overweight, and that was just
their hair. Yeah, and I hear Joey’s going to record a new Christmas song with Bing Crosby as soon as the old groaner
recovers from that “Little Drummer Boy” duet he did with new arrival David Bowie 41 years ago. Just wait until
he finds out that Joey’s been taking sarong lessons from Dorothy Lamour. Isn’t that wild?
Hey, how about a few reviews!
John Lennon – “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” (Apple) ::
– We Wish You A Metal Xmas And A Headbanging New Year (Armory) :: Look, even I can only take so much
of Bing singing “White Christmas” before I get a hardcore hankerin’ to dreck the halls with gobs of metal.
That’s why I’ve been listening nonstop to this twelve track compilation of carols, which features everyone from
Lemmy to Alice to Dio. I’ll be deaf for Christmas, if only in my screams.
Christina – “Things Fall Apart” (ZE) :: I thought
Britney Smears was a basket case until I heard this record. It originally escaped back in 1981 on A Christmas Record
and it’s still the most mentally disturbed Noël number ever released. And that includes Jerry Colonna’s
rendition of Johnny Bower’s “Honky The Christmas Goose.”
Rhonda Silver – “Chri$tma$ On Credit” (Silver Shadow)
:: You can forget all about Eartha Kitt mewing out the high-priced “Santa Baby” for the umpteenth year in a row
because this is the new torch song for today’s troubled times. You’ll sign up for a government bailout
when you hear sultry songstress Silver croon: “You know that Santa’s got the blues ’cause he ain’t
got no green. Looks like Mrs. Claus has picked his pockets clean!” In other words: Cash is king.
Johnny Cash – The Johnny Cash Christmas
Specials: 1976-1979 (Shout! Factory) :: Hey, and what better way to celebrate the season than by watching this four disc
box set containing the Man In Black’s holiday television specials. Cash doing Christmas would be reason enough to watch
at any time, but what really makes this a seasonal must see is the truly eclectic line up of guest stars, including
everyone from longtime stage stalwarts June Carter and Carl Perkins to country legends Merle Travis and Roy Clark to seminal
Sun rockers Roy Orbison and Jerry Lee Lewis.
Beatles – Christmas Time Is Here Again! (Fan Club Flexi-Disc) :: Hippies.
SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Mr. T –
“I Told You Hannibal: I Ain’t Gettin’ On No Sleigh!” b/w “Shut Up, You Crazy Yule!”
(T-Neck) :: Boy, I wanna tell ya, ain’t that something?
Be seeing you!