JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #881.567.200!

FIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Thor – Keep The Dogs Away: 30th Anniversary Special Edition 1978-2008 (Scratch) :: Y’know what I hate? I hate reading an awkwardly worded press release that says: “And beyond simply being a great Canadian album, easily Keep The Dogs Away holds it’s [sic] own nicely along the finest efforts of Sweet, Ziggy-era Bowie, Mott the Hoople, Sweeney Todd, T-Rex and the like.” Which is a grievous insult to really great Canadian albums like Neil Rush’s Tonight’s The Fly By Night. Thor’s the only musician on that list whose record I never shoplifted because it’s as aurally anemic now as it was back then. Admittedly, the title track is a pretty good power-pop bopper, but unfortunately, it’s stuck soaking in a static-strewn stew. With so many original unsold vinyl copies lying around, you’d think that someone could’ve found a factory sealed one in mint condition and ripped a new master from it. But no one did, which is why I’m mighty sore.

FIZZLING BOOK OF THE YEAR: Dave Thompson – I Hate New Music: The Classic Rock Manifesto (Backbeat Books) :: Y’know what I hate? I hate reading a wretchedly written press release that says: “If the title alone doesn’t polarize a roomful of music critics than [sic] nothing will.” Take it from me: Anyone who writes dozens of chapter titles like “Fat and forty-plus, or had your Phil of Collins yet?” and thinks that they’re witty is a talentless deballed hack who isn’t even qualified to write a Thor press release. But what I really hate is reading an embarrassing introduction by the once lucid Richard “Gulcher” Meltzer who sadly can’t write anymore and shouldn’t even try to. File under: The Aesthetics Of Schlock.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #880.566.198!

Animo – Blood In The Water (self released) :: Juvenile generic angst in their red-stained underpants. Why can’t you ever find a great white shark when you really need one?

Mike Gordon – The Green Sparrow (Rounder) :: There’s a lot here to like, such as the hip-swingin’ “Voices,” which reminds me of jazzy Stanley Clarke merged with poppy Todd Rundgren. Then “Andelmans’ Yard” morphs into a silky Steve Miller vibe—and that’s even better.

Ten Shekel Shirt – Jubilee (Rounder) :: This one reminds me of the thoughtful moderate up-tempo ballads that Unca Lou used to offer up, especially on the third Velvets album—and Lou was always a softy at heart. But in addition to such sensitive songwriting, I’m equally encouraged that TSS are also capable of picking up the pace apiece as they prove they can do on a track like “Spark.”

Sarah McLachlan – Rarities, B-Sides & Other Stuff (Nettwerk) :: She is woman, hear me snore after listening to these sappy and slushy MOR songs without a single shred of personality. And with a lame résumé like that, how much do you wanna bet that she’s probably a Canadian?

Throw The Fight – In Pursuit Of Tomorrow (Cordless) :: Yet another generic angst-in-their-pangst band with an original song called “Ready For War” that should’ve been a John Cale cover.

Ghostkeeper – And The Children Of The Great Northern Muskeg (Saved By Radio) :: Here come the warm red stripes as Eno meets Linda McCartney on this delightfully wonky electropop album that’s augmented with a delirious dash of early Alice Cooper!

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Blacklist Union – Breakin Bread With The Devil (B.L.U.) :: Cooze-infused badass rock ’n’ roll that manages to mix within a scant half hour a hyper speed freak Japanesque glamatronic melody vocal style with a crushing Motörheadesque guitarasonic rave-up. One of the best albums of the year, even if they do slip up by putting the photo of a big-bosomed babe on the actual disc instead of the front cover.

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