BUDDY GONNA JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #389!

Beach Boys – “Shut Down” (Capitol) :: Geddit?

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Levin Minneman Rudess – Levin Minneman Rudess (Lazy Bones) :: If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it three times: a chronological glance at your record collection will prove that, as rock ’n’ rollers get older, it’s utterly inevitable that they get softer—and I’m not talkin’ about virility in the sack, I’m talkin’ about volume in the studio.

As maxims of maturity go, TURN IT DOWN seems to be their overriding axiom of aging because, with the obvious aberrant exception of Jeffrey Beck, every single raucous rock musician who ever lived has lived to see the day come when their sonic six-guns were hung up in exchange for a pipe and slippers.

Even such much-vaunted volume advocates as Neil Young and Jimmy Page have had disconcerting bouts of flaccidness recently—assuming that they even bother to wake up to show up. And don’t you start me talking about former noise boy Miles Davis, who prematurely blew all his goo on Dark Magus only to thereafter be reduced to the sad spectacle of shooting blanks, as evidenced by such sterile secretions as You’re Under Arrest and Doo-Bop.

But there’s always an exception to the rule, and this fourteen track all-instrumental album is it, with a certifiable emphasis on the mental because Levin Minneman Rudess takes everything that you thought you knew about complex progressive art rock and effortlessly transmutes it from traditional fusion into a new element of audio contusion that you won’t find on any heavy metal periodical table. But please don’t let me be misunderstood: I’m not talkin’ about mental as in crazy coo-coo mental, I’m talking mental as in sonically supernatural Magneto-style metal manipulating mental. I could go on, so I will.

“Marcopolis” is the scene-setting first track and it’s the heaviest Wired outtake that Jan Hammer and the aforementioned Mr. Beckola never had the radical wherewithal to wax.

“Twitch” is the aptly-named second track and it’s an epileptic stutter-step that easily evokes Rick Wakeman as his most operatically speed freak soused.

“Frumious Banderfun” is the frisson-fusing third track and it’s an eerily evocative echo of Frank Zappa during his hellacious jazzbo phase with a side order of Oriental-themed crunge-o-phonics thrown in for bad measure.

For those of you keeping score at home, that’s just the first three frames and already we’re talking about a skillfully impressive Heinie Manush-style on-base slugging percentage—with eleven innings left to play. So break out some peanuts and Cracker Jack and hear for yourself how effortlessly the spasm-inducing All Star team of Levin Minneman Rudess takes the field and commands a one-sided rout that rookies a quarter of their age only wish they could muster. Batter up!

Be seeing you!