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Saturday, May 23, 2015

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #471

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #471.81!

 

Agoraphobic NosebleedPCP Torpedo / Anbrx (Hydra Head) :: The most distorted screamo album ever made opens with a foul-mouthed excerpt from a Richard Pryor movie. Then they strike up the band and put the dialogue to a mess age of musick.

 

1986Nihilism Is Nothing To Worry About (Palentine) :: I was worried that the band 1986 would be as musically dull as the year 1986 was. But not to worry because they sound as if Elliott Murphy had replaced Unca Lou after Loaded and then recorded a fifth Velvet Underground studio album.

 

Slow Motion ReignSlow Motion Reign (Surgical Strike) :: Kinda like Obscure Alternatives Japan with a hint of early melodic Queen and the languid loopy charm of Hunky Dory Bowie. That said, they have an earnest and ambitious neo-prog sound that’s all their own and well worth a listen. Worth a listen? Why, it’s more fun than freebasing with a polyester shirt on!

 

Hot OneHot One (The Music Of Nato) :: The really sexciting songs on this album sound like a pouty punky cross between Nick Gilder’s Sweeney Todd (“Get Your Priest On!”), Michael Hutchence’s INXS (“Sexy Soldier”) and Prince’s NPG (“Fu*k*n’”). Needless to say, the really boring ones don’t.

 

PersonEntitled (Echelon Productions) :: On “You Ain’t Hot,” this nattily dressed synthesizer trio rips a page outta Morris Day’s little black book and then ups the ante by using enough feelthy lingo to make Prince turn three different shades of lavender. Are you ready for the new sex-soaked Bee Gees?

 

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: MstrkrftThe Looks (Last Gang) :: And speaking of getting soaked, this anonymous glory hole happening between S’Express, Kraftwerk, Giorgio Moroder, and 808 State is nothing less than a wet dream hook-up for horny hedonists aching to relive the coke-soaked ’80s—and that’s nothing to sniff at.

 

TigaSexor (Last Gang) :: More très fey syntho electro. Beulah, crack me another amyl.

 

Jan HammerMiami Vice (MCA) :: Give me Librium or give me meth!

 

Be snorting you!

Sat, May 23, 2015 | link 

Saturday, May 16, 2015

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #470

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #470.80!

 

J.R. EwingMaelstrom (Dim Mak) :: You’re not dreaming in a prison shower, this unreasonable metal screamonstrosity sounds just like Ozzy ’n’ Alice ’n’ Ig, oh my!

 

The AdoredA New Language (V2) :: Ramonesish perky percolating power pop guaranteed to purify your aural palette.

 

KnutAlter (Hydra Head) :: Think their band name is clev—oh, sorry, I already used that one-liner. Well then, suffice it to say that these 14 tracks have enough remixed industrial menace to make Farmer’s Market sound like Pete Seeger on valium.

 

FlattbushSeize The Time (Koolarrow) :: I’m told that these hammer and sickle-sporting screamanicacs "bring Filipino political rage hard and raw to the States." Good thing I live in Canada.

 

Grant-Lee Phillipsnineteeneighties (Zoë) :: This is the on-the-nod acoustic album Eric Clapton would record today if old Spikehand were still strung out on smack and had a craving to carve up 11 antique melodies ranging from "Wave Of Mutilation" to the anal sex classic "Love My Way."

 

Toni Basil – “Mickey” (Capitol) :: And speaking of anal sex classics, she’s still the only woman to offer to take it up the ass on Top 40 radio.

 

Led ZeppelinIn Through The Out Door (Swan Song) :: What did you think the title meant?

 

Prince – “Raspberry Beret” (Paisley Park) :: What did you think “She walked in through the out door” meant?

 

Led Zeppelin – “Since I’ve Been Loving You” (Atlantic) :: What did you think “I open my front door, hear my back door slam” meant?

 

The Doors – “Back Door Man” (Elektra) :: Yeah, yeah, yeah! Priddy neat, priddy neat! Priddy good, priddy good! Alright!

 

Greeley EstatesFar From The Lies (Record Collection) :: Music to take prison showers by. Careful with that soap, Eugene…

 

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Blood BrothersLove Rhymes With Hideous Car Wreck (V2) :: Are you ready for a quirky spastic cabaret cross between the Clash and Marilyn Manson? How about Suicide and Diamanda Galás? Either way, the hills are alive with the sound of stuck pig music.

 

Be squealing you!

Sat, May 16, 2015 | link 

Saturday, May 9, 2015

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #469

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #469.79!

 

Sizzling Autopsy Result Of The Week: New York Dolls One Day It Will Please Us To Remember Even This (Roadrunner) :: Don’t be so sure because everyone who had a hand in the creation of this steaming pile of fly-infested aural excrement—all of whom should have known better, from the two surviving members (David JoHansen, Sylvain Mizrahi) to the pandering producer (Jack Douglas) to the gratuitous guest stars (Michael Stipe, Iggy Pop)—should be ashamed of themselves.

 

But of course, they won’t. Every single one of them will cravenly defend this wretched album to the death even though they all know, deep down in their hearts, that it’s a horrible soulless debasement and utter betrayal of everything they used to stand for. And if they don’t know that, then they’re even dumber than I thought.

 

Because this isn’t a New York Dolls record. It’s a 10th-rate, too-little-too-late, David JoHasbeen solo album full of the same pre-fabricated melodramatic schmaltz that he used to pass off as rock on slick sellout albums like In Style. In fact, this trite tripe isn’t even good enough to be a bad Buster Poindexter record.

 

If the rasping atonally flat vocalist isn’t busy recycling his old ook-ook jungle act and aping Soupy Lee Roth on “Dance Like A Monkey,” he’s shamelessly stealing from Andrew WK on “Gotta Get Away From Tommy.” Meanwhile, the cloying castrato background vocals that vandalize this album throughout are appallingly inane; the facile sterile guitars that try oh-so-hard to duplicate Johnny Thunders’ sloppy smackhead style fail miserably; and the lyrics are a litany of lazy half-baked hackwork rhymes like “Exorcise your demons with that monkey grin, ’cause we’re gonna inherit the wind” and “Try to find some comfort what I find instead, like changing my position on a semen bed.”

 

Maybe if we ignore them they’ll go away for good this time. So whatever you do, don’t buy this record because it’ll only encourage them. Instead, walk this schlock right out the door and give it a great big miss.

 

Be mourning you!

Sat, May 9, 2015 | link 

Saturday, May 2, 2015

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #468

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #468.78!

 

Demented Are Go Hellbilly Storm (Hep Cat) :: Stray Cats meet Alice Cooper. So go.

 

Anajani — Blue Alert (Columbia) :: After seeing Anajani One-Name and her boy toy slash co-writer slash producer Leonard Cohen performing together last month, a good friend who knows his stuff reported back that she sure can sing. And because his word is good enough for me, I’m saved the trouble of having to slash the shrink wrap and actually listen to this one myself.

 

Danielle MiragliaNothing Romantic (CD Freedom) :: “When I cry out loud you stick a dollar in my mouth,” she laments. “I suck the nipple dry until I realize that there’s no milk coming out.” Now I ask you: was ever an album more aptly titled?

 

Iggy & The StoogesRaw Power (Columbia) :: Yes.

 

SchulzWhat Apology (Sudden Death) :: Guenter Schulz splits from the KMFDM bawdy politick and hires Jeff Borden to sing this witty set of wiry muscular guitar-driven pop rock that’s utterly delightful.

 

nearLYreminder (Kufala) :: Jerome Dillon splits from the NIN nihilism schism and hires Claudia Same to sing this somber set of suicidal songs that, although beautifully recorded, are utterly malignant. Do not be seduced by the dark side. Choose light.

 

Exene Cervenka & The Original SinnersSev7en (Nitro) :: Doxy Exy stumbles out of bed with a tangy twangy dissipated disc full of sloppy schlockabilly songs that reek of cheap cooch and watered-down hooch. The money’s on the dresser. Now get out.

 

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: The PlaywrightsEnglish Self Storage (Sink & Stove) :: Not since Sparks in their high-octane speed-freak heyday or Yes at their most vexingly complex has such a delightful album been recorded that doesn’t pause to catch its breath. Not a moment of dead space exists as the swirlwind of lyrics merges with the vertiginous music; all in all, a very impressive feat given that even Russell Mael and Jon Anderson had to come up gasping for air once in a while.

 

Be seeing you!

Sat, May 2, 2015 | link 

Saturday, April 25, 2015

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #467

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #467.77!

 

StereophonicsLive From Dakota (Vox Populi) :: I never realized how much the lead singer sounds like Marilyn Manson and the band like INXS until I heard this twofer. Which means they sound alright. Wholly unoriginal, but quite alright.

 

JesuSilver (Hydra Head) :: The marathon melodrama of "Purple Rain" fused with the claustrosonic soundscapes of "Closer."

 

TagaqSinaa (Jericho Beach) :: Sparse challenging repetitive primitive chants by a woman who can use her voice much in the same way that Philip Glass can use a keyboard. Only the sellout Cutty Sark salesman was never aided and abetted by the ice queen Bjorkasaurus.

 

Thee More ShallowsMonkey vs. Shark (Turn) :: These seven somber songs aren’t bad but the laughably wretched amateur album cover art will deep-six this disc before it ever gets a chance to be heard. Helen Keller with an empty box of crayons could do better. Remember kids: You’re supposed to be independent, not incompetent.

 

An AlbatrossBlessphemy (Of The Peace Beast Feastgiver And The Bear Warp Kumite) (Ace Fu) :: King Crimson meets screamo.

 

David BowieThe Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars (RCA) :: Well, there goes my word count.

 

Marc Bolan & T. RexZinc Alloy And The Hidden Riders Of Tomorrow (Or a Creamed Cage In August) (T. Rex Wax Company) :: I give up.

 

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: SSMSSM (Alive) :: Why do these guys rate a SPOTW? Well, first they have a short album title that doesn’t chew up my valuable word count. Second, they have an equally brief band moniker that stands for Szymanski (cheesy Farfisa) Shettler (snappin’ traps) Morris (guttural guitar)—three rock star names if I ever heard them. Third, they have a "96 beers" sound that consists of swirling, mind-bending psychedelics that are so charmingly primitive they make Grand Funk Railroad sound like Emerson Lake & Palmer. Fourth, "Sick" is the catchiest punk song Todd Rundgren never recorded. Fifth, "2012" is the best sci-fi masterpiece The Doors never recorded.

 

Be seeing you!

Sat, April 25, 2015 | link 

Saturday, April 18, 2015

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #466

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #466.76!

 

Neil YoungLiving With War (Reprise) :: Commie.

 

Dixie ChicksTaking The Long Way (Open Wide) :: Pinko.

 

John WayneAmerica, Why I Love Her (MPI) :: Patriot.

 

SIZZLING PLATTERS OF THE WEEK: Dave RaveAnthology: Volumes 1 & 2 (Bullseye) :: One night I was waiting for an under assistant West Coast promo man to drop by and listen to some songs I’d recorded back in the ’70s when I heard a rapping, a gentle tapping, at my chamber door. Sure enough it was the promo man, but he was unexpectedly accompanied by one of Canada’s most well-respected rockers, the one—and you’d better believe only—Dave Rave.

 

Now I’d long known about Dave but never had the pleasure of meeting him until he strolled in out of the blue to plop his lanky frame onto my living room couch and give my music the critical once-over. Considering I was being judged by a guy who’d been there and back since the heady post-new wave days of the early ’80s, I was relieved to have passed the audition.

 

But enough about me because Bullseye Records has just released two new separate discs of Dave’s life work under the collective title Dave Rave: Anthology – Volumes 1 & 2. Together they contain 37 of the purest percolating pop songs you’ll hear in a long time. Echoing everyone from the best of the UK invasion to U.S. sun-soaked songs and beyond, this music is so full of youthful fun, it’ll make you feel like a rambunctious kid again.

 

Spearheading one band after another, Dave’s planted the seeds of his good-time music everywhere he’s gone: from the Shakes and Crashtones to fronting Teenage Head to his latter day work with Lauren Agnelli—aka CREEM rock critic Trixie A. Balm. Equally impressive is that Dave was the first North American musician invited to Russia to record for the USSR’s Melodiya record label.

 

That kind of experience can’t be bought, and it sure shows in every joyous note played and sung on these two exuberant albums. Which is why Dave Rave: Anthology will have you remembering why you fell in love with rock ’n’ roll in the first place.

 

I’ll be seein’ ya, Pilgrim!

Sat, April 18, 2015 | link 

Saturday, March 28, 2015

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #465

JEFFREY MORGAN'S MEDIA BLACKOUT #465.75!

Lou Reed & Don Cherry - The Velvet Underground Railroad (ESP Disc) :: Includes the hit single "Gil Scott Heroin."

Minmae - le grand essor de la maison du monstere (Greyday) :: Minmae match the Underground sound by duplicating everything from the Velvet's whiplash sonic verities to Unca Lou's wavering sonorous vocals. Oh, and just in case you were wondering, the translated title says "Big Escort Monster House Party."

Led Zeppelin - "Immigrant Song" (How The West Was Won) :: Funny how I think of Tony Curtis every time I hear Robert Plant warble "Val Haller I yam cummy yee ying yeah."

Public Enemy - "A Letter To The New York Post" (Def Jam) :: And the Maya Hersholt Hip-Hop Humanitarian Award for best rap lyric goes to Flavor Flav for "It only brings agony, ask James Cagney, he beat up on a guy when he found he was a fagney." And they call Dylan a poet.

No Trigger - Canyoner (Nitro) :: The next stop is Ramonesville Station! Ramonesville Station! Change here for some upbeat screamo thrasho that'll plaster a stunned smile on your thundermug!

Voodoo Blue - Smile N Nod (DCide) :: Tonight's main event is scheduled for 14 rounds of musical angst. It's Nirvana versus Aerosmith with the local tout saying the smart money's on the boys from Boston. And there's the bell!

Lemmy Kilmister - Battlescar Killhackedica (FOX) :: You can thank Roger Corman for this Conan knockoff that has Motörhead's maim man carving carnage on the small screen every week, deaf forever to the battle's din.

Tony Curtis - Sings Led Zeppelin (Bronx Bomber) :: Yonda lies da music of my fadda.

Led Zeppelin - Outhouses Of The Holy (Swan Song) :: Includes the hit single "D'yer Rh'ea."

SIZZLING HEAD ON A PLATTER: Motörhead - "King Of Kings" (Columbia) :: "On your knees, dog!" rasps Lemmy at the beginning of his latest chainmail melody. "The traitor lost both his name and his face!" But it's the catchy chorus of "Bow down to the King!" which is destined to overthrow "We Are The Champions" as the No. 1 victory anthem in blood sport arenas around the world. This meïsterwack of medieval mayhem appears on the World Wrestling Entertainment album Wreckless Intent and I promise you-no, I guarantee-that it's worth every bloody red cent.

Be seeing you!

Sat, March 28, 2015 | link 

Saturday, March 21, 2015

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #464

JEFFREY MORGAN'S MEDIA BLACKOUT #464.74!

Cheap Trick - Rockford (Big 3) :: This is Jim Rockford. I can't take your call because I'm busy investigating why a once-great musical combo is using my name on their latest lousy album. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

FIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Cheap Trick - Rockford (Big 3) :: Hey, Jimbo, it's Angel. Look, I know how you feel because I can't even begin to tell you how sick and tired I am of these guys constantly aping the Beatles and ELO. Heaven knows they managed to pull it off to perfection three decades ago on Heaven Tonight, but if they don't know how to make a classic Cheap Trick album anymore-you know, one that actually sounds like Cheap Trick-then maybe they should just pack it in. I could produce a better Cheap Trick record than this dreary dreck by putting "Come On Come On Come On" as the first track and then making them write another 35 minutes of equally blistering rock 'n' roll that doesn't sound like a bunch of lame rejects by George Harrison ("Perfect Stranger"), Queen ("This Time You Got It"), and Aerosmith ("One More Day"). Sure they're playing better than ever, but the singing is too affected and the songwriting is too awful. Zander needs to sound more like himself and the band needs to write some classic Cheap Trick rock 'n' roll songs that are fun, not a bunch of de-balled Beatle ballads. There are many here among us who feel this album's a joke. So to those who made this treacly tripe, I say there is no hope. NO HOPE. Bye-bye! So long! Farewell! Small dick, indeed.

Be seeing you!

Sat, March 21, 2015 | link 

Saturday, March 14, 2015

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #463

JEFFREY MORGAN'S MEDIA BLACKOUT #463.73!

Paul McCartney - McCartney (Apple) :: Includes the hit single "Maybe I'm Amazed."

Todd - Comes To Your House (Southern) :: The craziest experimental horror album of the year. John Oswald's Plunderphonic meets Ed Gein's kitchen. Care for some...vittles?

John Oswald - Plunderphonic (self-released) :: In an unprecedented act of brazen censorship, the Canadian government actually seized and destroyed the remaining print run of this legendary 1989 record. But some of them escaped the crusher so I've got an original mint condition copy for sale if you're interested in buying it.

Paul McCartney - McCartney 2 (Apple) :: Includes the hit single "Temporary Secretary."

Moth - Immunity To Gravity (Hey Domingo!) :: Infectious raw 'n' raucous power pop that evokes Elvis Costello at his early ironic best.

Soupy Sales - Blaa-Oh Blaa-Oh Blaa-Oh (Rhino Handmade) :: It's bad enough that David Lee Roth stole his entire act from Jim "Dandy" Mangrum, but this album shows that Roth also stole his whole style of speaking from Soupy!

Black Oak Arkansas - "Moonshine Sonata" (Atco) :: Song title of the century.

Paul McCartney - McCartney 3, Wife 2 (Apple) :: Includes the hit single "Peg O' My Heart."

STACKED PAIR OF THE WEEK: Janiva Magness - Do I Move You? (Northern Blues) :: Janiva's got a big set of tits and she's not afraid to lie on her stomach and show them off on her album cover if it means selling a few extra copies. And on jizz-soaked tracks like "A Man Size Job" and "Stealin' Sugar" she shows that she's also got a very big voice. Not as big as her tits, mind you, but big.

Paul McCartney - McCartney 64, Wife 0 (Zapple) :: Includes the hit single "No More Nagging Nights."

Be suing you!

Sat, March 14, 2015 | link 

Saturday, March 7, 2015

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #462

JEFFREY MORGAN'S MEDIA BLACKOUT #462.71!

Dozer - Through The Eyes Of Heathens (Small Stone) :: I anticipated a side order of screamo but got a heapin' helpin' of bone-pulverizing thud rock instead. And because I do love my thud rock, that's no bull.

David Bowie - Heathen (Columbia) :: Every time I revisit this album expecting to be sorely disappointed, I always come away pleasantly surprised by its emotional depth and maturity. Which says less about how good an album it is than it does about my inexplicable ongoing utter lack of faith in it.

Brian Byrne - tuesdays, thursdays and if it rains (Kindling) :: I'm not saying that this uplifting album was influenced by Mick Ronson or anything, but it sure sounds like it to me. Not that it matters because I'll take my uplifting music anywhere I can find it.

Roxanne Potvin - The Way It Feels (Alert) :: Lissome lungs and horny horns provide a percolating pulse that's part blues, part R&B soul and all heartfelt passion. WARNING: Playing this album may set off your stroke detector

Dozer - Through The Eyes Of Heathens (Small Stone) :: Bull! Dozer! Bulldozer! I almost had a gag there, son! Joke, that is...

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: David Wall - The Spell I Was Under (Black Hen) :: Ellis Hooks once recorded the best early Rolling Stones album that the Stones never recorded. Now it's David Wall who's tapped an Exile On Main St. vein and come up with a soulful blues album that's well worth hearing if only to dig the latent Leon Russell gospel vibe and background bleatin' country honkin' babes.

Be seeing you!

Sat, March 7, 2015 | link 

Saturday, February 28, 2015

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #461

JEFFREY MORGAN'S MEDIA BLACKOUT #461.70!

Noisettes - Three Moods Of The Noisettes (Low Altitude) :: Their rip-roarin' vocals are faster than the Pointer Sisters on speed, and their band is more muscular than a Mr. Olympia posedown.

Blue October - Foiled (Universal) :: What radical new record will make your soul ache with heartfelt passion? Rats, Foiled. What ambitious new album will make you remember why you like literate rock? Darn, Foiled. What dramatic new disc takes the prog rock spirit of Peter Gabriel's Genesis and admirably modernizes it into the future? Curses, Foiled again.

Matt Costa - Songs We Sing (Brushfire) :: This singer-songwriter hooked me by sounding like the second coming of gentle acoustic Donovan ("Astair"), but when he switched to hard rockin' electric Donovan ("Sweet Thursday") he reeled me in. You'll be landed and left breathless when you hear him too.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Big 10-4 - Big 10-4 (Universal) :: "Well, I'm the one they call the walking disaster" is a kind of heartfelt lyric that instantly grabs my attention much in the same way that almost being smearcased on the sidewalk by a falling piano does. The vocals are tough yet passionate, the guitars jangle like sheet metal lightning, and the drums thunder with enough ten pin power to make Henry Hudson proud. And while I'd never be snooty enough to say that I've heard the future of rock 'n' roll, I would advise Bruce Springsteen to roll over and tell the E Street Band the news.

Be seeing you!

Sat, February 28, 2015 | link 

Saturday, February 21, 2015

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #460

JEFFREY MORGAN'S MEDIA BLACKOUT #460.68!

Hawthorne Heights - If Only You Were Lonely (Victory) :: If only I were deaf.

Measles Mumps Rubella - Fantastic Success (Doubling Cube) :: What do you get when you cross Pere Ubu with Talking Heads? An infectious new strain on your ears!

Waterdown - All Riot (Victory) :: There's a message inside that says to stay home and read a book. I tried that, but the buffeting F5 metasonic sound waves coming out of the speakers while I played this primo Van Halen meets screamo album kept shredding the pages so I watched some senior citizen porn instead.

From Fiction - Bloodwork (Last Gang) :: Hi, my name is Steve Albini and I'm your producer. Today's special is a theatrical singer garnished by a band with a primitive progressive garage sound. Can I get you something to drink first?

The Autumn Offering - Revelations Of The Unsung (Victory) :: Unsung is right 'cause these growling guttural vocals almost get pummeled under the weight of the brutal bludgeoning beats that TAO--geddit?--promulgates. And if you don't know what that last word means, then this album is definitely for you.

Greatdayforup - Flores De Sangre (Small Stone) :: Heavy double time tunes that'll remind you of Ted Nugent at his most manically possessed, with a side order of Kyuss and Cult.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Action Action - An Army Of Shapes Between Wars (Victory) :: Smart and stylish, this is Dépêche Duran power pop art rock at its soaring synthesized best. Each and every track will have you fondly reliving glam's last lush gasp from the glory days of the '80s. And since I utterly loathed the '80s you can trust me not to steer you wrong on this one.

Be seeing you!

Sat, February 21, 2015 | link 

Saturday, February 14, 2015

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #459

JEFFREY MORGAN'S MEDIA BLACKOUT #459.63!

Bill Charlap & Sandy Stewart - Love Is Here To Stay (Blue Note) :: Sparse solo piano and sultry chanteuse singing that'll transform your dire digs into a smoky nightclub circa 1957. Ashtray and coaster not included.

Circa Survive - Juturna (Equal Vision) :: Swirling spastic spin-dizzy songs that'll haunt your hovel for hours. Gravol and Imitrex not included.

Death From Above 1979 - Romance Bloody Romance: Remixes And B Sides (Last Gang) :: Nothing like releasing a fast-buck career-stalling remix album that exposes how paper-thin your abrasive retardo-distorto-techno NIN shtick really is. Originality and... Aw, fergeddit.

Man Man - Six Demon Bag (Ace Fu) :: Remember that drag musical in Escape From New York? Well, so does this Tom Waits meets Frank Zappa band.

New York Dolls - Too Little Too Late (Roadrunner) :: Just kidding. I hope.

The Perms - Better Days (Hugtight) :: A power-pop band with a horny horn section and leering lead singers who sound like Leon Russell and Randy Newman is a great idea whose time has come today.

Sonic Syndicate - Eden Fire (Nettwerk) :: Now here's something new: rock songs based on the book of Revelations.

The Beatles - "Revolution 9" (Apple) :: Something New, geddit?

The Beatles - "Helter Skelter" (Apple) :: They invented screamo, too.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: The Beatles - The Beatles (Apple) :: This murky mishmash is a sunken slice of seismic miasma that begins with a Beach Boys parody ("Back In The USSR") and penultimates with the above-noted nine minute John Cage meets William S. Burroughs tape collage before tucking you in at the end with a sincere children's lullaby ("Good Night"). If you really wanna know why it's called The White Album, next time focus on its latent spirituality.

Be seeing you!

Sat, February 14, 2015 | link 

Saturday, February 7, 2015

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #458

JEFFREY MORGAN'S MEDIA BLACKOUT #458.61!

 James Frey - A Million Little Pieces (Doubleday) :: He who makes a liar out of himself gets rid of the burden of being honest. Indeed. Which means we'll never get to see an Oprah's Book Club sticker on the cover of the 45th anniversary edition of Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, eh?

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson - 1937-2005 (R.I.P.) :: Has it been ten years already? 

Glamour Puss - Bluesman's Prayer (Northern Blues) :: The opening track is a bald-faced rewrite of "The Weight," which pretty much explains why these Pussies sound just like The Band. 

Journey - Generations (Sanctuary) :: If you use only one glossy prog rock album to test drive your next pair of high-end speakers, make it this one. 

Melissa O'Neil - Melissa O'Neil (Sony BMG) :: Wherein the generic winner of Canadian Idol uses her generic voice to record a generic album guaranteed to generate genuine generic apathy.

Rex Goudie - Under The Lights (Sony BMG) :: So does the generic runner-up. 

Güajiro - Güajiro (Achala) :: Punk bands are a ripe dime a dozen, but a punk band that sounds like they're straight outta 1976? Now that's what I call speaking my language! 

Watermelon Slim & The Workers - Watermelon Slim & The Workers (Northern Blues) :: Crust-laden smut-soaked Tijuana Bible Belt blues ejerkulated out by a stain-shootin' cranky old wank that'll have you itchin' for a hot Clorox shower. 

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson (Margaritaville) :: You can thank Jimmy Buffett for this ace audio adaptation, which features the voices of Harry Dean Stanton, Maury Chaykin, Jim Jarmusch, Dan Castellaneta, Buck Henry, Laraine Newman, Harry Shearer and, yes, even Raoul Duke himself. Indeed.

Be seeing you!

Sat, February 7, 2015 | link 

Saturday, January 31, 2015

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #457

JEFFREY MORGAN'S MEDIA BLACKOUT #457.59!

Disney - Pixar ($teve Jobs) :: Walt would've loved the new digital animation technology, but he would've hated that his own animators couldn't master it.

Deerhoof - The Runners Four (Kill Rock Stars) :: They're still as demented as ever and that's good. They're also beginning to remind me of Yoko Ono and that's bad.

D.O.A. - War On 45 (Sudden Death) :: What are these naïve America-bashing Canadian kids good for? Absolutely nothing.

Young Canadians - No Escape (Sudden Death) :: What are these Canadian power pop punks good for? Absolutely something, play it again.

Fenix Tx - Purple Reign In Blood (Adrenaline) :: With a witty album title like that I was hoping to hear an album of Prince Slayer tunes not a raucous remake of CCR's "Fortunate Son."

The WB - UPN (The CW) :: I knew the WB was in trouble when they chose Michigan J. Frog as their logo mascot instead of Marvin Martian. 

Raul Midon - State Of Mind (Manhattan) :: What do I call a guy who sings like Stevie Wonder and actually has Old Blind Eyes hisself playing harp on a track? I call him mellow, fellow.

Donovan - Greatest Hits (Epic) :: Unlike Donno who had Led Zeppelin and the Jeff Beck Group backing him.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Anoushka Shankar - Rise (Angel) :: And speaking of Led Zep, if you've worn out your vinyl copies of "Kashmir" and "In The Evening" now's the time to upgrade to the real thing. 

Be seeing you!

Sat, January 31, 2015 | link 

Saturday, January 24, 2015

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #456

JEFFREY MORGAN'S MEDIA BLACKOUT #456.58!

Cab Calloway - Minnie The Moocher And Me (Crowell) :: The Professor of Swingformation could teach all the crude dudes a thing or two about being cool. How cool? Cool enough to play poker with Steve McQueen and Edward G. Robinson in The Cincinnati Kid, that's how cool.

Days Like These - Inventure (Lobster) :: Introspective angst at its prattling portentous best!

Dramarama - Everybody Dies (33rd Street) :: This Chris Carter-less wandering refried glam reunion sure ain't the Everyothers. Velvet Genesis, maybe.

Paulson - All At Once (One Day Savior) :: Singing so flat it makes Ellen Foley look like Pandora Peaks.

VooDoo Blue - Smile 'N Nod (DCide) :: Oh boy, almond Oy!

Trespassers William - Having (Nettwerk) :: Languid squid music that evokes Julee Cruise at her most ethereal.

Hella - Concentration Face/Homeboy (5rc) :: I like naked chicks on album covers, but Blind Faith and Electric Ladyland never gave me a primo screamo headache.

Harry Manx - Mantra For Madmen (Dog My Cat) :: The modern master of the mohan veena is back with another round of intelligent Indian blues that's well worth listening to.

Head Wound City - Head Wound City (Three.One.G) :: Seven shots in 10 minutes? Lee Harvey Oswald got off half that many in six seconds.

The Fully Down - Don't Get Lost In A Movement (Fearless) :: Introspective angst at its prattling portentous best!

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Fireball Ministry - Their Rock Is Not Our Rock (Liquor and Poker) :: Attention shoppers! Step this way for hard-rock mayhem just like your rummy old man used to get juiced and pass out to. Last year they were Black Sabbath. This year they're KISS. Who will they be next year? Angel? Starz?

Be seeing you!

Sat, January 24, 2015 | link 

Friday, January 23, 2015

JEFFREY MORGANíS ROCK íNí ROLL PHOTOGRAPHS

JEFFREY MORGAN’S ROCK ’N’ ROLL PHOTOGRAPHS

While you’re visiting, don’t forget to view the dozens of essential selections from my vast archive of
hundreds of extremely rare and previously unseen rock ’n’ roll photographs from the 1970s and 1980s—all of which were taken by myself from my front row center seat at various venerable venues; vintage historical portraits which include the following rock stars caught in their youthful prime:

David Bowie
(1976 Station To Station tour) :: Lou Reed (1974 Sally Can’t Dance tour) :: Iggy Pop (1977 The Idiot tour) :: Bob Dylan (1978 Street Legal tour) :: George Harrison (1974 Dark Horse tour) :: Paul McCartney (1976 Wings Over America tour) :: Pete Townshend (1976 The Who By Numbers tour) :: Johnny Winter (1976 Captured Live! tour) :: Jeff Beck (1975 Blow By Blow tour) :: KISS (1977 Love Gun tour) :: Alice Cooper (1975 Welcome To My Nightmare tour) :: Freddie Mercury (1977 News Of The World tour) :: Amanda Lear (1975 Sweet Revenge tour) :: Rod Stewart (1977 Foot Loose & Fancy Free tour) :: Mick Jagger (1975 It’s Only Rock ’n Roll tour) :: New York Dolls (1975 Tokyo Dolls Live tour) :: Keith Richards (1975 It’s Only Rock ’n Roll tour) :: Ian Hunter (1989 YUI Orta tour) :: Elton John (1974 Caribou tour) :: Mick Ronson (1989 YUI Orta tour) :: Steven Tyler (1977 Draw The Line tour) :: Sparks (1975 Indiscreet tour) :: James Brown (1986 Gravity tour) :: Miles Davis (1985 You’re Under Arrest tour) :: Roger Daltrey (1976 The Who By Numbers tour) :: Bruce Springsteen & Clarence Clemons (1975 Born To Run tour) :: John Entwistle (1976 The Who By Numbers tour) :: Keith Moon (1976 The Who By Numbers tour) :: The Who (1976 The Who By Numbers tour) :: and more!

Ask any dealer and he’ll tell you that the best way to get someone hooked on your product is to give them a free sample, so here’s just a small taste of what’s coming your way when you click on the eleven gallery links to your left:

JeffreyMorganDavidBowie.jpg
Fri, January 23, 2015 | link 

Saturday, January 17, 2015

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #455

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #455.57!

Thine Eyes Bleed
In The Wake Of Separation (The End) :: Mine ears bleed.

Wolf Parade
Apologies To Queen Mary (Sub Pop) :: What if Bowie and Ronson had recorded Hunky Dory while stewed to the gills on a case of scotch?

The Dead Science
Frost Giant (Absolutely Kosher) :: Nasty canasta Mexicano melodies merged with woozy wasted wastrel wails.

Detonation
Portals To Uphobia (Osmose Productions) :: Prog metal? I dunno, but it’s amazing how palatable screamo vocals can be when they’re shored up by solid production and a relentless brace of burgeoning bludgeoning beats.

Aaron Lines
Waitin’ On The Wonderful (BMG) :: He may strike a Paddy Smiff meets Zimmer pose on the inner tray photo, but he sure sings like the sincere second coming of classic country.

Epoch Of Unlight
The Continuum Hypothesis (The End) :: Gosh, I miss The Obsessed.

Agents Of The Sun
Monarchs Of A Fallen Society (DCide) :: What at first blush appears to be the usual slapdash hodgepodge of generic angst pop is quickly quelled by the swirling dashes of Kirk Hammett guitar work.

ABSU
Mythological Occult Metal 1991-2001 (Osmose Productions) :: And then this compilation of feelth metal’s greatest grates and rarest wracks comes along to show everyone where it began and who to blame.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Chromelodeon
Heart Of Sawdust (Bloodlink) :: Any band that names itself after an obscure Harry Partch work gets my vote right off the bat—especially when they title their six songs an economically minimal “One” through “Six.” But when all six are prog rock instrumentals á la Nash The Slash, well, when I say I’m in love, you best believe I’m in love, l-u-v.

Be seeing you!
Sat, January 17, 2015 | link 

Saturday, January 10, 2015

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #454


JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #454.56!

Styx
The Complete Wooden Nickel Recordings (Hip-O) :: File Under: Don’t Take Any.

Logh
A Sunset Panorama (Hydra Head) :: This quartet starts off with a koda intro and concludes with a primo screamo coda.

Metric
Live It Out (Last Gang) :: Girls ’n’ guitars will always be my number one fave rave and this edgy ethereal euro syntho sonic assault reminds me why, big time.

Honeyhander
Wooly Mannerisms (SAF) :: Smootho ’90s Duran Duran fused with distorto ’90s Marilyn Manson—and it works!


Seventeen Evergreen
Life Embarrasses Me On Planet Earth (Pacific Radio Fire) :: Leonard Cohen may be broke, but his influence lives on in this excellent album. Or is that Unca Lou?


Altamont
The Monkees’ Uncle (Ant Acid Audio) :: This band called Altamont is more fun than a front row seat at Dick James’ speedway so don’t be played for a dupe, stupe. Pool cue not included.

Hanner
No Guts, No Gravy (Unsound) :: Hanner is Johanna Wright and Johanna Wright is what Joan Baez would have sounded like if Joanie had been on the back of that bike without a helmet when Zimmer crashed—which is a very good thing indeed.

New England Roses
Face Time With Son (Dogg Pony) :: And this set of wonkie tunes would’ve been recorded if a helmetless Peter, Paul & Mary had been on the back, too.

Tera Melos
Tera Melos (Springman) :: Very adept stutter-steps that splatter all over the instrumental electro jazz bop canvas from here to Ornette.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: The Sharking
The Sharking (202 Lions) :: Get outta that cage and dig the ragged jagged beat, the pure pop pulse, the Costello vocals, and the Enossififed snake guitars!

Be seeing you!

Sat, January 10, 2015 | link 

Saturday, January 3, 2015

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #453


JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #453.55!

Vailcode
Vailcode (Times Beach) :: This lean and lanky new album by Motor City guitar legend slammin’ Sammy Vail is easily as thoughtful as Elliott Murphy at his “Diamonds By The Yard” best. And that’s definitely saying something.

Marcos Hernandez
C About Me (TVT) :: Y’know, back in 1986 they would’ve used “If You Were Mine” during one of Tubbs’ hot make-out scenes on Miami Vice.

The Pathways
Boat Of Confidence (RIYL) :: They set sail with a loose wandering intro before checking the chart and drifting into a Captain Sensible mode that I quite like.

God Dethroned
The Lair Of The White Worm (Metal Blade) :: I’m not too crazy about the band’s name, but that doesn’t stop me from digging their savage sound which, the guttural glotteral vocals aside, is about as close to classic double-time Metallica as you can find these days.

The Gunshy
Souls (Latest Flame) :: Head gunner Matt Arbogast gets nailed for aping Tom Waits so much, but that misses the whole point because he does it so well. When you do it as long and as well as he does, the purloined style eventually becomes all your own. And on this album, it finally does.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Baleen
Follow Me Blind (Liquilab) :: Now here’s one worth listening to that’s all over the audio map. It starts out being on some kind of soul trip only to swerve into a herky-jerky Angletrax vein, albeit a little more mellow and melodic. And since I know you don’t know who Angletrax are, don’t you be making the same mistake twice.

Be seeing you!

Sat, January 3, 2015 | link 

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