JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #937.571.204!

SIZZLING BOX SET OF THE WEST: Bob Wills And His Texas Playboys – The Tiffany Transcriptions (Collectors’ Choice) :: Once every eon, a box set comes along that definitively redefines the form by best enabling the experience of contextually listening to an artist’s specific body of work. Perhaps the ten-disc set The Complete Charlie Parker On Verve did it for you. Or maybe it was the seven-disc set of the Stooges’ 1970: The Complete Funhouse Sessions. Or perchance it’s this exciting ten-disc rip-roarin’ roundup.

Although not nearly as accomplished a songwriter by any stretch of the imagination, popular radio and silver screen bandleader Bob Wills was nevertheless, in his own unique way, the Duke Ellington of country music—a man who managed to transcend and transform the limitations of his genre to become the King Of Western Swing. And the timeless tunes heard herein on these platters cover the apex of his accomplishments from 1946 and 1947, a period during which he was influencing such young’uns as Chuck Berry and Clint Eastwood.

The 150 tracks on these swingin’ sides are taken from the large transcription discs they were originally cut on. These oversized platters allowed for the recording of longer songs per side, an invaluable aid for any musician who liked to stretch out—and boy howdy, does Wills ever stretch! Along with scores of such country classics as “Milk Cow Blues” and “New San Antonio Rose,” you’ll hear diverse big band, pop and jazz standards made popular by the likes of Glenn Miller, the DeJohn Sisters and, yes, even the never-waning Duke. Plus, the newly restored sound is as clear and crisp as a 1880s Colorado morning.

You can still see vintage archival footage of Bob Wills on TCM, but don’t be a tenderfoot: Go online while you’re waiting for his next appearance and buy this essential must-have collection now because only a city slickin’ dude would dare delay another decade.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #936.570.203!

The Orchid Highway – The Orchid Highway (Naughty) :: They’re not The Beatles but an incredible simulation!

Wovenhand – Ten Stones (Sounds Familyre) :: Ambitious angst anyone?

Okkervil River – The Stand Ins (Jagjaguwar) :: This is the absolute second-best cabaret angst record I’ve ever heard. It’s only the second cabaret angst record I’ve ever heard, but it’s the absolute second-best.

Skybombers – Take Me To Town (Albert Productions) :: Strangely believe it, Skybombers are the new Cheap Trick and Take Me To Town is their Heaven Tonight.

Fish – 13th Star (MVD Audio/Chocolate Frog) :: If you thought prog rock was dead, then you ain’t heard nuthin’ until you’ve heard this epochal space-spannin’ offering from Marillion’s main man.

Sally Tomato – Toy Room (Severe Enterprises) :: These words I speak are true: this ambitious four act rock opera is operating in an arena that’s so far out there it makes Welcome To My Nightmare sound like nap time in a deaf mute kindergarten.

Ayla Brook – After The Morning After (Saved By Radio) :: Sensitive love songs and plaintive paeans that anyone who ever had a heart can relate to.

The Homemade Jamz Blues Band – Pay Me No Mind (Northern Blues) :: The earthy Hendrix influence is undeniable but so is the playing, so it’s a whitewash.

Caamora – She (MVD Audio/Metal Mind) :: Are you ready for a bombastic two-disc rock opera based on the novel by H. Rider Haggard? If you ever owned a copy of Jesus Christ Superstar, you are.

KISS – “She” (Casablanca) :: Honey, it’s not one a’doze.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Rhonda Silver – Twelve Pieces Of Silver (Prism) :: Backed by the expert likes of Guido Basso and Jeff Healey, these silky smooth songs of songstress Silver’s smack of slinky late night rendezvous in a swank penthouse bar and morning after musings in a sodden neighborhood saloon. Even better, she belts out her original blues with enough gusto to make you down another round. So set ’em up, Joe.

Be seeing you!

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #935.569.202!

Head – Save Me From Myself (Rykodisc) :: Al Snow doesn’t meet the Monkees in this swirling amalgamation of neo-NIN heaviness hitched with Jonathan Davis melodies.

Albert Hammond, Jr. – Como Te Llama? (Red Ink) :: Just when you thought you’ve heard it all, along comes this English-speakin’ pop outing that actually contains a piano ballad called “Feed Me Jack, or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Peter Sellers.” Really.

Chris Letcher – Harmonium (2 Feet) :: You wanna talk about obscure? Let’s talk about how Chris gets bonus points for opting to unleash a charmingly chiming multitracked cover version of “Wait” from Unca Lou’s Street Hassle album—and that’s the album’s worst track compared to all the originals!

Emory Joseph Fennario – Songs By Jerry Garcia & Robert Hunter (Iris) :: If the Grateful Dead’s entire back catalogue had sounded as consistently great as this folksy jumpin’ jive record does, then all of their albums would’ve sold even more than they did.

Kathy Griffin – For Your Consideration (Music With A Twist) :: Excuuuuse me, but a dizzy dame that records a comedy album just to win a comedy Grammy (insert obligatory trademark symbol here) award and then earnestly writes, “I hope you find it funny” in the liner notes? Yeah, funny strange.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Zuzu’s Petals – Kicking Our Own Asses (Rhino Handmade) :: This kooky cool catch-all that captures their four-year max out comes a-twangin’ and a-ramblin’ into town with a surfeit of top down female pop verve ’n’ squelchy distorto swerve that sounds every bit as vital as it did 20 years ago. They sing about gun-totin’ and smack-shootin’ and heartbreak-achin’ but most of all they crow ecstatic about gettin’ the last laugh on the droolin’ dorks that they attract like, uh, flies—all fueled by a Melanie-worshippin’ perpetual motion motor that evokes shredded Nirvana and poppy Ramones and brainy Talking Heads. One of these ditzy dolls oughta write a book.

Laurie Lindeen — Petal Pusher (Atria Books) :: Well, whaddya know? One of them did!

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #934.568.201!

Bruce Springstone – Greetings From Bedrock Park (Hanna-Barbera) :: Includes the hit single “Quarry Days.” Rest in peace, Bill.

Jethro Tull – Draculung (Chrysalis) :: They all laughed when Ian Anderson announced that he was going to write a progressive art rock opera about a rummy child molesting vampire. Well, they’re not laughing now.

Blue Öyster Cheer – Agents Of Eruptum (Phillips) :: I wish!

The Who – Who’s On First (Track) :: They all laughed when Pete Townshend announced that he was going to write a rock opera about Abbott and Costello. Well, they’re not laughing now.

Aerostones – It’s Only Rock In A Hard Place (Toxic Glimmer) :: They all laughed when rock’s big-lippers finally united. Well, they’re not laughing now. Includes the hit single “Dude (Looked Like Lady Jane’s Got A Gun).”

Don Kirshner Presents – The Byrds, The Beatles & The Monkees (Colgems) :: They all laughed when Mr. Rock Concert reunited three of the world’s greatest bands. Well, they’re not laughing now.

Led Zeppelin – Led Zeppelin XI: Live At Carnegie Hall (Atlantic) :: They all laughed when Bun E. Carlos replaced John Bonham on this box set. Well, they’re not laughing now.

The Doors – Manzarek, Densmore, Krieger & Jones Ltd. (Camden) :: They all laughed when Davy Jones was hired to replace Jim Morrison. Well, they’re not laughing now. Includes the hit single “The Doors Into Summer.”

David Byrne & Brian Eno – My Life In The Bush Of Your Wife (Sire) :: They all laughed when these aging art fops decided to record music for adulterers. Well, they’re not laughing now.

Black Oak Sabbath – Paranoid Mutha (Atco) :: I wish!

Styx & Stones – Break My Bones (Plaster Caster) :: They all laughed when Dennis DeYoung and Mick Jagger waxed some tracks together. Well, they’re not laughing now.

Cars Traffic Jam – 4 Way Stop (Motown) :: They all laughed when Ric Ocasek, Steve Winwood, and Paul Weller created a new supergroup. Well, they’re not laughing now.

The Clash – Sandradeesta! (Rocket) :: They all laughed when Elton John re-formed The Only Band That Matters. Well, they’re not laughing now.

Tom Scholz & Hugh Cornwell – Boston Stranglers (Death Row) :: They’re definitely not laughing now.

Keith Richards – “Don’t Fall Out Of The Apple Tree” (Fiji Gin) :: It only hurts when he laughs.

Phyllis Dylan – Fang On Fang (Columbia) :: I wish!

Ted Nugent – The Ted Offensive: Triple Live Gonzo In Afghanistan (Armed Forces Radio Network) :: You were waiting for that, weren’t you?

SPLATTER PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Nirvana – Arrivederci! (Swan Song) :: Recorded in Rome, this final vinyl features cover versions of: “So Long It’s Been Good To Know Ya,” “Suicide Solution,” “Auf Wiedersehen,” “Don’t Try Suicide,” “I Feel Like I’m Fixin’ To Die Rag,” “Rock ’n’ Roll Suicide,” and “Lay Down And Die, Goodbye.” Includes the hit single “Dead Man’s Kurt.”

The Rolling Boulders – Get Yer Yabba Yabbas Out! (Hanna-Barbera) :: Includes the hit single “No Excavations.” Rest in peace, Joe.

Be fooling you!

JEFFREY MORGAN'S ROCK 'N' ROLL PHOTOGRAPHS

While you're visiting, don't forget to view the dozens of essential selections from my vast archive of hundreds of extremely rare and previously unseen rock 'n' roll photographs from the 1970s and 1980s--all of which were taken by myself from my front row center seat at various venerable venues; vintage historical portraits which include the following rock stars caught in their youthful prime:

David Bowie (1976 Station To Station tour) :: Lou Reed (1974 Sally Can't Dance tour) :: Iggy Pop (1977 The Idiot tour) :: Bob Dylan (1978 Street Legaltour) :: George Harrison (1974 Dark Horse tour) :: Paul McCartney (1976 Wings Over America tour) :: Pete Townshend (1976 The Who By Numberstour) :: Johnny Winter (1976 Captured Live! tour) :: Jeff Beck (1975 Blow By Blow tour) :: KISS (1977 Love Gun tour) :: Alice Cooper (1975 Welcome To My Nightmare tour) :: Freddie Mercury (1977 News Of The World tour) :: Amanda Lear (1975 Sweet Revenge tour) :: Rod Stewart (1977 Foot Loose & Fancy Free tour) :: Mick Jagger (1975 It's Only Rock 'n Roll tour) :: New York Dolls (1975 Tokyo Dolls Live tour) :: Keith Richards (1975 It's Only Rock 'n Roll tour) :: Ian Hunter (1989 YUI Orta tour) :: Elton John (1974 Caribou tour) :: Mick Ronson (1989 YUI Orta tour) :: Steven Tyler (1977 Draw The Line tour) :: Sparks (1975 Indiscreet tour) :: James Brown (1986 Gravity tour) :: Miles Davis (1985 You're Under Arrest tour) :: Roger Daltrey (1976 The Who By Numbers tour) :: Bruce Springsteen & Clarence Clemons (1975 Born To Run tour) :: John Entwistle (1976 The Who By Numbers tour) :: Keith Moon (1976 The Who By Numbers tour) :: The Who(1976 The Who By Numbers tour) :: and more!

Ask any dealer and he'll tell you that the best way to get someone hooked on your product is to give them a free sample, so here's just a small taste of what's coming your way when you click on the eleven gallery links to your left:

 

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #933.567.200!

FIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Thor – Keep The Dogs Away: 30th Anniversary Special Edition (Scratch) :: Y’know what I hate? I hate reading an awkwardly worded press release that says: “And beyond simply being a great Canadian album, easily Keep The Dogs Away holds it’s [sic] own nicely along the finest efforts of Sweet, Ziggy-era Bowie, Mott the Hoople, Sweeney Todd, T-Rex and the like.” Which is a grievous insult to really great Canadian albums like Neil Rush’s Tonight’s The Fly By Night. Thor’s the only musician on that list whose record I never shoplifted because it’s as aurally anemic now as it was back then. Admittedly, the title track is a pretty good power-pop bopper, but unfortunately, it’s stuck soaking in a static-strewn stew. With so many original unsold vinyl copies lying around, you’d think that someone could’ve found a factory sealed one in mint condition and ripped a new master from it. But no one did, which is why I’m mighty sore.

FIZZLING BOOK OF THE YEAR: Dave Thompson – I Hate New Music: The Classic Rock Manifesto (Backbeat Books) :: Y’know what I hate? I hate reading a wretchedly written press release that says: “If the title alone doesn’t polarize a roomful of music critics than [sic] nothing will.” Take it from me: Anyone who writes dozens of chapter titles like “Fat and forty-plus, or had your Phil of Collins yet?” and thinks that they’re witty is a talentless deballed hack who isn’t even qualified to write a Thor press release. But what I really hate is reading an embarrassing introduction by the once lucid Richard “Gulcher” Meltzer who sadly can’t write anymore and shouldn’t even try to. File under: The Aesthetics Of Schlock.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #932.566.198!

Animo – Blood In The Water (self released) :: Juvenile generic angst in their red-stained underpants. Why can’t you ever find a great white shark when you really need one?

Mike Gordon – The Green Sparrow (Rounder) :: There’s a lot here to like, such as the hip-swingin’ “Voices,” which reminds me of jazzy Stanley Clarke merged with poppy Todd Rundgren. Then “Andelmans’ Yard” morphs into a silky Steve Miller vibe—and that’s even better.

Ten Shekel Shirt – Jubilee (Rounder) :: This one reminds me of the thoughtful moderate up-tempo ballads that Unca Lou used to offer up, especially on the third Velvets album—and Lou was always a softy at heart. But in addition to such sensitive songwriting, I’m equally encouraged that TSS are also capable of picking up the pace apiece as they prove they can do on a track like “Spark.”

Sarah McLachlan – Rarities, B-Sides & Other Stuff (Nettwerk) :: She is woman, hear me snore after listening to these sappy and slushy MOR songs without a single shred of personality. And with a lame résumé like that, how much do you wanna bet that she’s probably a Canadian?

Throw The Fight – In Pursuit Of Tomorrow (Cordless) :: Yet another generic angst-in-their-pangst band with an original song called “Ready For War” that should’ve been a John Cale cover.

Ghostkeeper – And The Children Of The Great Northern Muskeg (Saved By Radio) :: Here come the warm red stripes as Eno meets Linda McCartney on this delightfully wonky electropop album that’s augmented with a delirious dash of early Alice Cooper!

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Blacklist Union – Breakin Bread With The Devil (B.L.U.) :: Cooze-infused badass rock ’n’ roll that manages to mix within a scant half hour a hyper speed freak Japanesque glamatronic melody vocal style with a crushing Motörheadesque guitarasonic rave-up. One of the best albums of the year, even if they do slip up by putting the photo of a big-bosomed babe on the actual disc instead of the front cover.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #931.565.197!

Robert Christgau – Christgau’s Consumer Guide (MSN) :: He’s the Leonard Maltin of music!

James King – Gardens In The Sky: The Bluegrass Gospel Of James King (Rounder) :: Just like heroin or Ernie Kovacs, religious bluegrass music is an acquired taste in that you have to be receptive to both the religion and the bluegrass to get into it. But seeing as how James King is the genre’s premier practitioner, this compilation consisting of mostly previously released tracks from his earlier albums is well worth the effort.

Tiesto – In Search Of Sunrise 7: Asia (Black Hole) :: Points deducted for putting an Armani Exchange logo on the back cover.

Various Artists – Stax Goes The Beatles & Soulsville Sings Hitsville: Stax Sings The Songs Of Motown Records (Stax) :: Hearing Issac Hayes melt “Something” into a sensual, 12-minute, soul-searing sermon is one thing; hearing the Bar-Kays turn “I Heard It Through The Grapevine” into a suspenseful, 12-minute, senses-shattering soul-noir session is another thing entirely.

Watermelon Slim – No Paid Holidays (Northern Blues) :: If I had a boil-burstin’ mug like his, I’d sing the blues too.

Stone Rider – Three Legs Of Trouble (Trustkill) :: The album title says it all—but just in case you’re still on the nod, lemme spell it out for ya in simple words that even you can understand: This is loutishly loud ’n’ distorted wah-wahified full throttle musical mayhem that’s custom made for some seriously savage stained mattress screwing. Yeah, I thought that might wake you up. And speaking of loose screws…

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Chase Frank – Midnight Manor (self-released) :: Chase is a girl and, boy, can she ever write; sing; and play a whole host of everything, from deep-sixed dirges (“Sad Song”) and upbeat rockers (“Doubt”) to decadent Euro-sautéed cabaret torch numbers (“Bipolar Belle”). I also get the feeling that’s she’s got a loose screw or two rattling around somewhere in that big beautiful brain of hers—always a plus in my book.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #930.564.196!

Poison – Seven Days Live (Armoury) :: What can you say about an album that actually dares to list one of its eleven songs as: “Drum Solo”? You said it.

Walls Of Jericho – Redemption (Trustkill) :: Five femme-fueled power ponderances asking that musical question: is Candace Kucsulain the new Nico?

Fear Nuttin Band – Yardcore (Bodog) :: Jahve nuttin d’feah bwah dis Korny wrekord widjil leeve fuh evva indie infuhmmy, mon.

3 Doors Down – 3 Doors Down (Universal Republic) :: There’s a lot of potential here for the kinda classic riff-laden crunge rock that Columbia and Warner Bros. used to regularly release during the mid ’70s—but only if they ditch all the barf-bag ballads first.

And The Moneynotes – New Cornucopia! (Prairie Queen) :: Imagine a kooky, countrified, vaudevillian cross between wittily written Sparks and musically playful Boiled In Lead with an all too brief added dash of Lennonesque guitar.

Less Than Jake – Gnv Fla (Sleep It Off) :: Soulful speed-freakin’ ska widda bouncy English Beat!

The Fashion – The Fashion (Red Ink) :: Now why do I get the feeling that these cool cats would’ve fit in perfectly on Bowie’s Nineteen-Eighty Floor Show?

Walter Meego – Voyager (Red Ink) :: Seriously soaked in synths, this is the best Eurotrash electropop since the end of the ’80s.

The Green Hour Band – The Green Hour Band (Kingdom) :: And this is the greatest garagedelic rock album I’ve heard all week. These poor little Greenies have hallucinated an LP that sounds like Their Satanic Majesties Request as recorded by the Beatles and released on ESP Disc. It’s far-out, man.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Priya Thomas – Priya Thomas Is Blood Heron (Boiling Pt) :: Poetess Priya is Canada’s answer to Patti Smith, only she’s a much better singer; a much better writer; and a whole lot smarter. Plus, she lives up to the song title “Your Guitar, My Undoing” by unleashing a blistering solo the likes of which hasn’t been heard since Fripp lost a grip on Here Come The Warm Jets.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #929.615.255!

Alessandra Comini – Egon Schiele’s Portraits (University Of California Press) :: Back in the ’70s, legendary British mime David Bowie was tagged in various rock rags to play early 20th century Austrian painter Schiele in a movie called The Wally that never materialized save for a photo of Bowie looking suitably wan with a book about Schiele casually strewn at his feet; but not this massive 500 page hardcover which would’ve been a tad too heavy for such a scrawny snow-snorter to heft.

It’s too bad that the flick never got filmed because Schiele’s seriously skewed life was just as deeply disturbing as his seriously skewed illustrations were—which is why I spent many a sleepless night kicking the gong around and wondering what the result would look like if some visionary with a brimming brainpan dared to use Schiele’s herky-jerky artwork as a twisted template to create an iconoclastic landmark animated series.

Peter Chung – Æon Flux: The Complete Animated Collection (Paramount) :: It’s been twenty long years since Peter Chung first transmogrified Egon’s art into Æon’s artifice and yet, as this definitive three disc set shows, the end results have never been more eerily ahead of their time than they are now—no mean feat in a world gone wacky. If you’ve never been exposed to Chung’s uncanny covert environment, you can now make up for lost time by immersing yourself for hours in the deep end of the Æonetic pool where sixteen pretty much non-linear episodes await to indoctrinate you.

If it were easy to tell you what they’re all about I would, but the best I can do to give you a hint of what awaits you is to quote that great poet Grace Slick, who once wrote about a time “when logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead.” Except that the crazy world of Peter Chung makes Lewis Carroll’s looking glass landscapes seem like the very picture of photorealism; or as the phantom voice in Porky In Wackyland warns: “It can happen here!” And in this Æon paean, it most certainly does.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Drew Neumann – Eye Spy: Ears Only Confidential (Tone Casualties) :: Not since the great Carl Stalling gave Warner Bros. cartoons their own unique sonic personality has there been such a perfect melding of sound and vision as that applied to Chung’s art by Neumann. This two disc instrumental soundtrack to the Æon Flux series is what Bowie’s Low would’ve sounded like had he teamed up with The Equalizer’s Stuart Copeland instead of Eno; or if id Software had hired Wendy Carlos to record Quake instead of Trent Reznor. But don’t take my word for it: mosey over to Drew’s website where you can buy the enhanced three disc version directly from him and then decide for yourself.

Carl Stalling – The Carl Stalling Project: Music From Warner Bros. Cartoons 1936 – 1957 (Warner Bros.) :: Exactly! 

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #928.614.255!

George Harrison – “Awaiting On You All” (Apple) :: Leave it to a white guy from England to rhyme “Jesus” with “visas.”

The Madison Square Gardeners – Teeth Of Champions (self released) :: From the guitars to the organ, the music is straight outta Dylan’s Highway 61 Revisited but the vocals are strictly of the Elliott Murphy Aquashow ilk—and that’s an inspirational combo that’s hard to beat, especially when the songwriting is easily on par with both of those stellar songsmiths.

Ice Cube – “We Had To Tear This Mofo Up” (Priority) :: Leave it to a black guy from America to rhyme “Jesus” with “Adidas.”

Ringo Starr – “The End” (Apple) :: Best drum solo ever?

Paul McCartney – “Kreen-Akore” (Capital) :: Best drum solo ever?

Ron Bushy – “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” (Atco) :: Best drum solo ever?

Peter Criss – “100,000 Years” (Casablanca) :: Best drum solo ever?

John Bonham – “Moby Dick” (Atlantic) :: Best drum solo ever?

Cozy Cole – “Topsy Part Two” (Apex) :: A million-selling, certified gold, number one single from 1958 that’s just a drum solo? Best drum solo ever!

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: De Staat – Machinery (Cool Green) :: It ain’t often that an eclectic album scores high marks on the intelligent quotient test and then registers an even higher rating on the crunge-o-meter, but De Staat’s funk-fuelled Machinery sho ’nuff does both: first by oozing out a surfeit of creative artistic brain-power-pop (ref. Roxy Music; Devo; Robin Scott’s M); and then by reeking with an unreasonable overdose of snarky sonic style and amped-up attitude (ref. KMFDM; Prodigy; Living Color).

Where to begin? With the herky-jerky Morse code guitar-driven chunk rock of “Ah, I See” that sounds like a bouncing buzz saw skewering a sheet metal trampoline? Or with the James Brown drill sergeant depiction of animal meat by-product processing on “Old MacDonald Don’t Have No Farm No More” that’ll make you wanna chow down on a tasty Big Kahuna Burger?

What about the pec-pumpin’ beats of “Sweatshop” that’ll have you in sync while you sate your iron addiction? Would I be remiss in missing the crazy carnival whirligig of “Psycho Disco” that keeps on chooglin’ until the sows come home? It really doesn’t matter because, from the sporadic synth-stuttering stylistics served up on “Tumbling Down” to the real cool hand that “Keep Me Home” deals down with its spiritually soulful chain-gang wail, this is one radical record to be reckoned with!

The Who – Magic Bus: The Who On Tour (Decca) :: Best live album ever!

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #927.613.254!

Bill Cosby – To Russell, My Brother, With Whom I Slept (Warner Bros.) :: Boy, I guess we’ll never see anyone with enough guts to use a slyly-suggestive title like that these days, huh?

SIZZLING BOOK OF THE WEEK: Mickey Leigh with Legs McNeil – I Slept With Joey Ramone (Touchstone) :: Thankfully, this is the complete antithesis to Legs’ earlier oral history of punk Please Kill Me, which was so direly depressing that even I couldn’t bear to keep it around. But just like the above-noted Cosby comedy classic, I Slept With Joey Ramone is heartfelt to a fault in the way that it narrates how brothers relate to each other—in this case Mickey to Joey—with the big difference being that there’s understandably nothing in Cos’ tale about the wages of Mickey’s monkey; the variances of being an iconic rock star; or the tragic too-tough-to-die trauma of terminal cancer. But don’t let that stop you from reading one of the most compassionate rock books ever written because you could do a lot worse and, let’s face it, you probably already have.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: The Rolling Stones – Ladies And Gentlemen, The Rolling Stones (Eagle Vision) :: It goes without saying but I’ll say it anyway: try as it might, this movie, which is the only officially Stones-sanctioned document of the Stones’ legendary 1972 Tour Of The Americas, doesn’t come even remotely close to capturing the unearthly Olympic Gods Walking The Earth essence of what it was like to actually be there, in the same room as them, to bear witness at what was arguably the Stones’ greatest last live stand; the argument being that you can always find some snooty purist who will eagerly insist that it all went downhill after 1966, never mind ’69.

That said, this isn’t anywhere near the sad slice of cinema that I initially deemed it to be after I saw it during its initial theatrical run in 1974. Back then, I staggered away with a bad taste in my eyes and the distinct feeling that the whole thing was nothing but a bunch of self-indulgent, big-lipped, vanity close-ups of the singer. Then again, I did sit through two consecutive showings of the Beatles’ Let It Be in May 1970 because I didn’t think that I’d gotten my two dollars and fifty cents worth the first time around, so I’m a tough audience to begin with.

However, I’ve mellowed enough in my dotage to now see this for what it really is: a well-shot rollicking romp that displays every band member in equal dollops of drag and has a sonically superior soundtrack that’s probably the best we’re likely to hear in lieu of their oft-bootlegged Klein-cancelled live album—and if it’s no Stones In Exile, well, what is these days?

Robert Frank – CS Blues (Embargoed) :: This is!

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #926.612.253!

George Harrison assisted by Bernie Krause – Electronic Sound (Zapple) :: The last word in noise!

The Aquabats! – Hi-Five Soup! (Fearless) :: All music’s stupid as a spud, but rare is the record that’s worthy of being tagged stoopid—and just like Lou Reed’s The Bells, the is one heckuva stoopid album that’s so satirically smart it actually dares to be D-U-M-B. Some might even go so far as to say that there hasn’t been such a peerless parody platter since the heyday of “Weird Stan” Freeberg!

Stan Freeberg – St. George And The Dragonet (Capitol) :: Except that Hi-Fi Stupe! won’t sell a million copies in three weeks like Stan’s seminal single did back in 1953—and that’s just the facts, Ma’am.

Braids – Braids (Kanine) :: What if the Phaedra-era Tangerine Dream and the Bedside Companion-era Nash The Slash had pooled their considerable synth skills to wax a record that featured a chirpy chick’s ethereal vocals? The result would’ve been this delightful disc that’ll have your ten toes tapping and your seven synapses snapping!

Neil Young assisted by Crazy Horse – Arc (Reprise) :: The last word in noise!

Otis Redding – Live On The Sunset Strip (Stax) :: If you’re ready for Star Time, then this two disc distillation of Redding’s four night stint at the Whisky in 1966 is definitely ready for you. What’s that you say? You’ve heard enough versions of “Respect” and “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” to last you a lifetime? Then may I suggest going directly to the second platter to play Otis’ ten minute throwdown on “Papa’s Got A Brand New Bag”? It’ll make you get up offa that thing; dance and you’ll feel better!

Ben Ottewell – Shapes & Shadows (ATO) :: Ben’s got an original voice and he uses it to sing well-crafted songs that are about as heartfelt and literate as you’re likely to hear these days. Toss in some tastefully sparse album cover art direction and you’ve got an entire package that’s well worth perusing—so mebbe y’oughtta pick up a copy ’n’ settle down to give it a spin. Nine tracks, no waiting.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Colin Stetson – New History Warfare Vol. 2: Judges (Constellation) :: On this astonishing new avant album, sax master Stetson somehow manages to make his instrument evoke everything from the watery mystique obsequies of Gavin Bryars and the echoic reverb distortion of Unca Lou’s live work with Zeitkratzer to the surreal hypnotic sequential drones of Terry Riley and Steve Reich as channeled through the altered sonic states of Basil Kirchin—an uncanny aural achievement made all the more impressive by the fact that Stetson plays everything in one take without any overdubs. Bonus points for having Laurie Anderson occasionally chime in with arcane words of wisdom and Shara Worden for likewise haunting the proceedings with her plaintive singing.

Lou Reed assisted by Lou’s speed – Metal Machine Music (RCA Quadradisc) :: The last word in noise!

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #925.611.252!

Alice Cooper – Lay Down And Die, Goodbye (Straight) :: If lacquering his liver for years with Budweiser and Canadian Club didn’t kill him, then nothing will. File under: Too Tough To Die.

Suicide – Frankie Teardrop (Red Star) :: What, they’re still alive? Amateurs!

Elton John – Someone Saved My Life Tonight (MCA) :: If Bernie hadn’t pulled Reg’s head out of that gas oven, we never would’ve have had the pleasure of hearing him subsequently shill: “Sassoon says so much”! Anyone got a match?

Frank Gallup – Got A Match? (Paramount) :: I beg your pardon!

Ozzy Osbourne – Suicide Solution (Epic) :: If the bat-bite rabies didn’t kill him, then nothing will. File under: Too Tough To Die.

Metallica – Fade To Black (Elektra) :: What, they’re still alive? Amateurs!

Prince – Sexual Suicide (NPG) :: File under: Freddie Mercury.

Freddie Mercury – Don’t Try Suicide (Elektra) :: Ironic, innit?

Paul McCartney – Suicide (Capitol) :: You’d think that writing a song called “Suicide” at age fourteen would portend something dire, but daddy says nothing doing. File under: Too Tough To Die.

David Lee Roth – Jump (Warner Bros.) :: When he sings “Go ahead and jump!” what did you think he was talking about? Hopscotch?

Cheap Trick – Auf Wiedersehen (Epic) :: Need a push?

Sparks – Here In Heaven (Island) :: Only Ron Mael could write a song about a suicide pact in which the woman reneges—as sung from the point of view of the man who, having gone first, said goodbye cruel world: “Now I know why you let me take the lead.”

The Mash – Suicide Is Painless (Columbia) :: Number one with a bullet!

Grand Funk Railroad – Born To Die (Capitol) :: What, they’re still alive? Amateurs!

Woody Guthrie – So Long, It’s been Good To Know Yuh (Elektra) :: Even Okies get the dust bowl blues.

Phil Ochs – Rehearsals For Retirement (A&M) :: Merely the greatest—and, regrettably, most prophetic—album cover ever.

Trent Reznor – Gave Up (Nothing) :: When the singer describes his music as being “an ultra fast chunk of death” and then repeatedly wails “I tried, I gave up” you’d think that he would’ve backed up his brag by now, but no. File under: Too Tough To Die.

Ramones – Too Tough To Die (Sire) :: Really?

Iggy & The Stooges – Death Trip (Columbia) :: What, they’re still alive? Amateurs!

PRESCIENT PLATTER OF THE WEEK – SAD ONE: Michael Hutchence – Suicide Blonde (Mercury) :: Professional.

PRESCIENT PLATTER OF THE WEEK – SAD TWO: Kurt Cobain – I Hate Myself And I Want To Die (Geffen) :: To a fault.

Dorothy Parker – Résumé (Enough Rope) :: “Razors pain you; rivers are damp. Acids stain you; and drugs cause cramp. Guns aren’t lawful; nooses give. Gas smells awful; you might as well live.”

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #924.610.251!

The Franco Proietti Morph-Tet – Live! A Weekend At Centre St. Ambroise (Bongo Beat) :: With saxes a-wailin’ and turntables a-twirlin’ and Moog synths a-bloopin’ and a-blorpin’ these fourteen hipsters casually carve out a bluesy reggaefied swatch of decidedly distant retrophonic monophonic sound that’ll send you soaring into a groove-approved altitude where the java is always piping hot and the jive is always pluperfectly cool.

The Green Hour Band – Coming Of Clockwise (Scratch) :: The gnarly destorto fuzz bomb beginning behooved me to believe that this might be some kinda Cobainish revival meeting, but the drawlin’ adenoidal protesting vocal convinced me that this is nothing less than a hopped up and harped up high octane folkified version of Blue Cheer.

Alternative TV – Black And White: Live (Bongo Beat) :: The sound quality may rival the Velvet’s Live At Max’s Kansas City for sonic sludgery but that only adds to the authentic feel of this career-spanning work which was recorded all around the world during this century, yet uncannily sounds as fresh as if it was recorded in 1977 during punk rock’s heyday—and I was around back then so I should know...and I most certainly do.

The Luke Mulholland Band – Further (self released) :: Growlin’ blooze rock that occasionally gets elevated out of the ordinary by a gnarly guitarist who hails from the same loopy fretboard fraternity as Satriani and Beck. But why credit this to your “Band” on the outside when you don’t list a single musician on the inside?

Paul Hyde – Peace Sign (Bongo Beat) :: Backed by sound production so crisp it never needs ironing, Paul expertly essays the kind of songs that Judas stopped slinging after he revisited Highway 61–and if you don’t believe me, just listen to the acidly acerbic “Greaseball Town” and try tellin’ me that I’m wrong.

Lee Dewyze – Slumberland (Wuli) :: The way I see it, this is nothing less than a trippy Donovan Harrison concept album about Winsor McCay’s Little Nemo In Slumberland. Dewyze’ll deny it of course but, with songs like “Princess” and “Another Sleep Song,” he really shouldn’t.

Graham Brown & The Prairie Dogs – Do What You Should (Bongo Beat) :: This is the kinda tub-thumpin’ cawntry hawnk that’d go good from behind a bottle of beer that’s in front of a chicken wire wall. Careful with that pool cue, Eugene!

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: The Savage Nomads – What The Angel Said (Alaska Sounds) :: When Mick Jones says: “I can’t think of anyone better than the Savage Nomads to rock the whole world” it’s kinda like the Beatles endorsing Badfinger. But that don’t diminish the endorsement’s impressiveness none because this five track extended player is one helluva Clash course in everything that I like about loud guitar-driven rock ’n’ roll—especially when it’s fuelled by a soulful saturation of heartfelt passion like this disc is. Had it been pressed in plastic, it’d be a magnificent seven.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #923.609.249!

Bruno Mars – Doo-Wops & Hooligans (Elektra) :: Music whores a vacuum which is why, now that Michael Jackson’s gone, space has opened up for Bruno to moonwalk into his void with an album that merges an ace imitation of MJ’s voice with Freddie Mercury’s breathy archness, all sheathed in a synthesized swirl that’s straight outta the ’80s—and as we all know, nothing says the ’80s better than Bruno!

Bruce Willis – The Return Of Bruno (Motown) :: That’s right, Motown. What were you expecting? Stax?

Cybill Shepherd – Moonlighting (MCA) :: Stax, you idiot! Not stacked! Stax!

Miles Davis – The Man With The Horn (Columbia) :: It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that schwing!

Grace Kelly & Phil Woods – Man With The Hat (Pazz) :: Sometimes I think that you can’t find a jazzier cat than big boppin’ sax man Woods. As if studying with the great Lennie Tristano wasn’t enough, he then married Bird’s widow Chan and shuffled off to Paris. You’ll probably know him best for his smooth solo on Billy Joel’s syrupy single “Just The Way You Are” but don’t hold that against him because he’s more than made up for it by joining sax siren Kelly for this new album of smooth soundin’ duets. Bonus points awarded if she calls her next album Dial S For Sax.

Grace Kelly – Dial M For Murder (Alfred Hitchcock) :: Geddit?

Dave Rave – Live With What You Know (Bongo Beat) :: What if The Who Sell Out-era Who and the Rubber Soul-era Beatles had recorded an album together? The result would’ve been this practically perfect in every way pop record, which is nothing less than Dave Rave’s apex of auditory expression. In fact, it’s so sonically stellar that it would’ve easily made my Village Voice 2010 Top Ten list had I heard it last year—so let that be a lesson to all you tardy publicists!

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Jonny Burke – Distance & Fortune (Dreamcar) :: Jonny comes rockin’ outta left field in 4/4 time with a voice that sounds like snarky Alice Cooper; lyrical skills that easily evoke Elvis Costello on a magnanimous day; and wiry Keith Richards riffs which simply reek with the sonic simplicity of Bowie’s “Rebel Rebel.” Then he unexpectedly detours into Elliott Murphy country-folk territory for a spell before blasting out the other side in full-bore rock mode again. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that this is the sound of someone who’s completely confident in the knowledge that he can do just about anything he wants to in the studio—but I do and he can.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #922.608.248!

Ray Santilli – Alien Autopsy: Fact Or Fiction (FOX) :: No comment.

Discovery Networks International – Michael Jackson’s Autopsy: What Really Killed Michael Jackson (Discovery Channel) :: No comment.

Daryl Hall & John Oates – Live At The Troubadour (Shout! Factory) :: One day, when I’m old and I can’t stand listening to loud rock ’n’ roll anymore, I’m gonna sit myself right down in a wicker rocking chair and mellow my mind with this smooth sounding triple disc audio-visual combo that touches almost every career base from their early days to their mega-platinum hits. But not today.

Big Star - #1 Record & Radio City (Fantasy) :: A twofer blend of generic up-tempo pop rockers and geriatric snoozak ballads, the latter of which would’ve sounded a whole lot better had they been done by Todd.

Arthur Nasson – Echo Garden (self released) :: And speaking of the Runt, multi-instrumentalist Nasson unleashes a charmingly naïve Rundgrenish crash course in pop music styles that begins with Brian Wilson, ends with Rick Wakeman, and has more than a few ambient stops along the way to whet your whistle for much more.

Paul Langlois – Fix This Head (Ching) :: Wherein the Tragically Hip’s guitarist hunkers down to come up with one of the most moving debut albums I’ve heard since Johnny MacLeod redefined what it means to be a triple threat singin’ songwritin’ guitarist—and if you’ve ever heard any of Johnny’s albums, you’ll know that’s mightly impressive praise indeed!

Johnny & The G-Rays – “Trying To Chew My Head” (Attic) :: Exactly!

The Homemade Jamz Blues Band – I Got Blues For You (Northern Blues) :: When he reviewed Grand Funk’s On Time in Rolling Stone, Lester Bangs wrote that “the drumming is guaranteed to send you up the wall.” I’m a Don Brewer fan so I didn’t agree, but after hearing the brutal monotonous bashing on this album, I have to admit that I now know how he felt. I Got Bruise For You is more like it.

Arthur – Watch The Years Crawl By (Rock City Recording Company) :: I hate listening to whiny adenoidal singers but I gotta admit, after hearing this record, that if I had to listen to one whiny adenoidal singer as the years crawl by...I’d listen to Kurt Cobain.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Dave Koz – Hello Tomorrow (Concord) :: They may tag sax sessions like this as being “contemporary jazz” these days, but that sounds like some kinda condescending old fogey “Boots Randolph” label to me because where I hang out—on the corner of Coryell and Deodato—it smacks of nothing less than good old-fashioned “fusion” to me. Sure, the liner notes and track notations are strictly new age feel-good folderol, but that’s more than offset by having Herb Alpert on trumpet and Sheila E. on vocals. Bonus points for resisting the temptation to call his album Koz And Effect.

Robert Plant – Now And Zen (Atlantic) :: Sheesh.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #921.607!

Sherman, set the Wayback Machine to 2017 where we will present, for everyone’s needle-droppin’ groove approval, in semi-strict random ethno-alpha-numerical order so as not to show any undue kickback payola favoritism, Jeffrey Morgan’s 2017 Top Ten List Of Records as they appeared on his official ballot for that year’s Village Voice rock critics poll. These were his Sizzling Platters Of The Year, all of which deserved repeated spins on your old grand-dad’s Victrola. Don’t ask why, Sherman! Just buy them!

Various Artists – Make America Great Again (Greatest Songs Of The USA) (Curb) ● Obscured By Clouds – Thermospheric (Psycheclectic) ● James Williamson & Dennis Tek – Acoustic K.O. (Leopard Lady) ● Edward Sayers – Underdog / Overlord (self released) ● Stolen Apple – Trenches (Pagani) ● Plasmatics – Live! Rod Swenson’s Lost Tapes 1978-81 (MVD) ● Jenna Nation – You Don’t Know (self released) ●  Iguana De Banda – Etiqueta Negra Del Lugo (Boca Del Rey Discos) ● Various Artists – 24 Classic Blues Songs From The 1920s Volume 14 (Blues Images) ● Donald Trump – Make America Great Again (Culture Factory)

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #912.606.243!

Ronnie Earl & The Broadcasters – Living In The Light (Stony Plain) :: Exemplary axe execution elevates this one into the upper blues guitar echelon, but so-so singing drags it back down into the pedestrian part of town where side two of Jimmy Page’s Outrider lives.

Ronnie Earl & The Broadcasters – Spread The Love (Stony Plain) :: Exemplary axe execution elevates this one into the upper blues guitar echelon and an utter lack of vocals keeps it there. Bonus points for covering “Cristo Redentor.” Points deducted for including a liner note quote from a pulchritudinous Padre plugging your positive qualities as a human being. Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie. Next time, ditch the shameless self-promotional spiritual payola and let your God-given gift of music do the talkin’ for you instead, alright? Oh my brother, testify!

Duke Robillard’s Jumpin’ Blues Revue – Stomp! The Blues Tonight (Stony Plain) :: Era-specific pastiches never work because the practitioners can never duplicate the primitive period sound that they’re aping but boy does he ever do these rhythm ’n’ blues to death and die tryin’ in the process. The closest that the Duke comes to cliché is when he covers “Frankie And Johnny” and “Ain’t Nobody’s Business” but most everything else that he chooses to uncover is spot on, from Ike Turner’s “Tore Up” to Helen Humes’ “Million Dollar Secret.” Clocking in at over an hour in length, this is one retro record that’s an absolute must for your next rent party.

Duke Robillard – Passport To The Blues (Stony Plain) :: You might like this one better if you’re a modern era maven but, as your physician, I’d advise you to take both of these and crawl to me in the morning. Your papers please!

Andy Kim – Happen Again (Iceworks) :: Whether you know it or not, you know Andy as the wunderkind singer-songwriter responsible for such infectious worldwide mega-hits as the Archies’ “Sugar Sugar”—and admit it: your brainpan’s jukebox is playing “Sugar Sugar” right now just by reading that song title, innit? Well, never one to rest on his considerable royalty checks, this tasteful new long player is everything that you’d expect from such a staunch pop stalwart as Andy. Smart singing, smart songwriting and smart playing all add up to Happen Again being the best solo album that John Lennon never lived to record. It’s also the new album that Bryan Ferry wishes he’d recorded instead of Olympia.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Black Country Communion – Black Country Communion (J&R Adventures) :: The vocals are of the scotch-garglin’ style that made Steve Marriott and Bon Scott benchmark wailers; the bass is a bowel-buffeting beast that’ll massage your innards from stench to stern; the slick-swervin’ guitar is straight outta mid ’60s studio nirvana; and the pulse-pounding drums with their thick bludgeoning beats sound uncannily just like John Bonham of Led Zeppelin—which they oughtta since the skin-smashin’ stick man is none other than Bonzo’s son Jason. Toss in some synth-soaked atmoogspherics and you’ve got a recipe for the kind of good old-fashioned “Black Country Rock” that Mom used to hate!

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #919.605.242!

Kristy Lee – Live At The Soul Kitchen (self released) :: All rise! Court is in session! The honorable Judge Kristy Lee presiding! Wielding an acoustic guitar like a gavel, this rightfully irate woman dispenses Alabama justice in the form of cautionary tales like the aptly-titled “45” in which an abused woman shoots her abuser in self-defense with Exhibit A. The female jury in the audience is solidly on Kristy’s side because she’s got too much soulful personality and heartfelt passion to be held back by the quivering likes of you, you worm, so stand up and take your medicine like a man. Guilty on all counts! Next case.

Immolate – Ruminate (MVD Audio) :: The album cover outside shows a skeleton awash in flames while the album music inside shows the vocalist buried alive in dense slabs of Spectorish sound; a sonic distinction that almost makes this the Exile On Aladdin Sane St. of death metal. Double bonus points for having a singer who actually sings instead of screams and for having a band that’s smart enough to take their musical cues from Powerman 5000—not that they’d ever admit it.

Elizabeth And The Catapult – The Other Side Of Zero (Verve Forecast) :: From the label that gave you Billie Holiday comes another woman y’gotta watch out for, what with her woeful tales of doomed romance like “Go Away My Lover” on which she laments: “Darling won’t you go? Leave me to my tower, leave me all alone.” But it’s not all Garboesque fun ’n’ games because there’s a dark Lynch-pin supporting these proceedings that’ll make you nervously laugh at her insightful lyrics and then suddenly think: does she really mean it?

Jonas & The Massive Attraction – Big Slice (self released) :: Having studied such previous purveyors as Springsteen and Aerosmith, it’s apparent that Jonas & The Massive Attraction want to prove it all night that they’re the new modern masters of the Power Ballad; an aspiration which they admirably achieve on three quarters of Big Slice. But since man does not live on ballads alone, I’m pleased to say that the remainder of the record is a raucous romp of ramped up heavy duty rock ’n’ roll that, with a little bit of dedication to the cause, could very end up reverberating all the way back to the sonic neighborhood where Buzz Shearman’s legendary band Moxy used to live—and yes, that’s a challenge.

FIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Bryan Ferry – Olympia (Virgin) :: I was looking through my record collection for some rejects to give away as Christmas presents when I came across this prime candidate. The come-hither satin sheets cover photo may look like a Roxy Music throwback but this ballad-bloated album ain’t no Stranded by a Country Life mile. Which only goes to show that you can lead Bryan Ferry, Eno, Phil Manzanera, Andy Mackay and Chris Spedding back to the fountain of rock, but you can’t make them drink.

Be seeing you!