JEFFREY MORGAN'S MEDIA BLACKOUT #457.59!

Disney - Pixar ($teve Jobs) :: Walt would've loved the new digital animation technology, but he would've hated that his own animators couldn't master it.

Deerhoof - The Runners Four (Kill Rock Stars) :: They're still as demented as ever and that's good. They're also beginning to remind me of Yoko Ono and that's bad.

D.O.A. - War On 45 (Sudden Death) :: What are these naïve America-bashing Canadian kids good for? Absolutely nothing.

Young Canadians - No Escape (Sudden Death) :: What are these Canadian power pop punks good for? Absolutely something, play it again.

Fenix Tx - Purple Reign In Blood (Adrenaline) :: With a witty album title like that I was hoping to hear an album of Prince Slayer tunes not a raucous remake of CCR's "Fortunate Son."

The WB - UPN (The CW) :: I knew the WB was in trouble when they chose Michigan J. Frog as their logo mascot instead of Marvin Martian. 

Raul Midon - State Of Mind (Manhattan) :: What do I call a guy who sings like Stevie Wonder and actually has Old Blind Eyes hisself playing harp on a track? I call him mellow, fellow.

Donovan - Greatest Hits (Epic) :: Unlike Donno who had Led Zeppelin and the Jeff Beck Group backing him.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Anoushka Shankar - Rise (Angel) :: And speaking of Led Zep, if you've worn out your vinyl copies of "Kashmir" and "In The Evening" now's the time to upgrade to the real thing. 

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JEFFREY MORGAN'S MEDIA BLACKOUT #456.58!

Cab Calloway - Minnie The Moocher And Me (Crowell) :: The Professor of Swingformation could teach all the crude dudes a thing or two about being cool. How cool? Cool enough to play poker with Steve McQueen and Edward G. Robinson in The Cincinnati Kid, that's how cool.

Days Like These - Inventure (Lobster) :: Introspective angst at its prattling portentous best!

Dramarama - Everybody Dies (33rd Street) :: This Chris Carter-less wandering refried glam reunion sure ain't the Everyothers. Velvet Genesis, maybe.

Paulson - All At Once (One Day Savior) :: Singing so flat it makes Ellen Foley look like Pandora Peaks.

VooDoo Blue - Smile 'N Nod (DCide) :: Oh boy, almond Oy!

Trespassers William - Having (Nettwerk) :: Languid squid music that evokes Julee Cruise at her most ethereal.

Hella - Concentration Face/Homeboy (5rc) :: I like naked chicks on album covers, but Blind Faith and Electric Ladyland never gave me a primo screamo headache.

Harry Manx - Mantra For Madmen (Dog My Cat) :: The modern master of the mohan veena is back with another round of intelligent Indian blues that's well worth listening to.

Head Wound City - Head Wound City (Three.One.G) :: Seven shots in 10 minutes? Lee Harvey Oswald got off half that many in six seconds.

The Fully Down - Don't Get Lost In A Movement (Fearless) :: Introspective angst at its prattling portentous best!

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Fireball Ministry - Their Rock Is Not Our Rock (Liquor and Poker) :: Attention shoppers! Step this way for hard-rock mayhem just like your rummy old man used to get juiced and pass out to. Last year they were Black Sabbath. This year they're KISS. Who will they be next year? Angel? Starz?

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #454.56!

Styx – The Complete Wooden Nickel Recordings (Hip-O) :: File Under: Don’t Take Any.

Logh – A Sunset Panorama (Hydra Head) :: This quartet starts off with a koda intro and concludes with a primo screamo coda.

Metric – Live It Out (Last Gang) :: Girls ’n’ guitars will always be my number one fave rave and this edgy ethereal euro syntho sonic assault reminds me why, big time.

Honeyhander – Wooly Mannerisms (SAF) :: Smootho ’90s Duran Duran fused with distorto ’90s Marilyn Manson—and it works!

Seventeen Evergreen – Life Embarrasses Me On Planet Earth (Pacific Radio Fire) :: Leonard Cohen may be broke, but his influence lives on in this excellent album. Or is that Unca Lou?

Altamont – The Monkees’ Uncle (Ant Acid Audio) :: This band called Altamont is more fun than a front row seat at Dick James’ speedway so don’t be played for a dupe, stupe. Pool cue not included.

Hanner – No Guts, No Gravy (Unsound) :: Hanner is Johanna Wright and Johanna Wright is what Joan Baez would have sounded like if Joanie had been on the back of that bike without a helmet when Zimmer crashed—which is a very good thing indeed.

New England Roses – Face Time With Son (Dogg Pony) :: And this set of wonkie tunes would’ve been recorded if a helmetless Peter, Paul & Mary had been on the back, too.

Tera Melos – Tera Melos (Springman) :: Very adept stutter-steps that splatter all over the instrumental electro jazz bop canvas from here to Ornette.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: The Sharking – The Sharking (202 Lions) :: Get outta that cage and dig the ragged jagged beat, the pure pop pulse, the Costello vocals, and the Enossififed snake guitars!

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #453.55!

Vailcode – Vailcode (Times Beach) :: This lean and lanky new album by Motor City guitar legend slammin’ Sammy Vail is easily as thoughtful as Elliott Murphy at his “Diamonds By The Yard” best. And that’s definitely saying something.

Marcos Hernandez – C About Me (TVT) :: Y’know, back in 1986 they would’ve used “If You Were Mine” during one of Tubbs’ hot make-out scenes on Miami Vice.

The Pathways – Boat Of Confidence (RIYL) :: They set sail with a loose wandering intro before checking the chart and drifting into a Captain Sensible mode that I quite like.

God Dethroned – The Lair Of The White Worm (Metal Blade) :: I’m not too crazy about the band’s name, but that doesn’t stop me from digging their savage sound which, the guttural glotteral vocals aside, is about as close to classic double-time Metallica as you can find these days.

The Gunshy – Souls (Latest Flame) :: Head gunner Matt Arbogast gets nailed for aping Tom Waits so much, but that misses the whole point because he does it so well. When you do it as long and as well as he does, the purloined style eventually becomes all your own. And on this album, it finally does.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Baleen – Follow Me Blind (Liquilab) :: Now here’s one worth listening to that’s all over the audio map. It starts out being on some kind of soul trip only to swerve into a herky-jerky Angletrax vein, albeit a little more mellow and melodic. And since I know you don’t know who Angletrax are, don’t you be making the same mistake twice.

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THE BEST OF JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #452!

Presented for your approval, in semi-strict alphabetical order so as not to show any undue payola favoritism, is Jeffrey Morgan’s 2014 Top Ten List Of Records as they appear on my official ballot for this year’s Village Voice rock critics poll, which I’ve been voting in annually ever since Robert Christgau was kind enough to give me the nod five decades ago. In other words, and I’ve got a million of ’em, these are my Sizzling Platters Of The Year, all of which deserve repeated spins on your Victrola.

01 :: The 24th Street Wailers – Wicked (self released) :: Four on the floor supercharged rock ’n’ roll? Fused with the power of the blues? The greatest liner notes you’ll read this year? Boy howdy!

02 :: Backhand – Through The Turbulence (Melodic Revolution) :: Tune in and turn on as this trippy synth-soaked progressive rock experiment takes you out of your head and then some.

03 :: The Empty Hearts – The Empty Hearts (429 Records) :: Exuberant old style rockin’ power pop that’ll have you feeling young’r than you’ve ever been.

04 :: Jimmy Greene – Beautiful Life (Mack Avenue) :: Not since John Coltrane’s latter day discs of inner discovery has there been such a heartfelt spiritual saxophonic display of enlightening audible luminosity that’s guaranteed to infuse your heart with hope.

05 :: The Jerry Cans – “Aakuluk” (Boycott Northmart Records) :: They state that their sound is a “unique mix of Inuktitut country swing, throat singing, and reggae” so who am I to say nay when this exulting album excels at being one of the greatest avant toe tappers I’ve heard in decades. Were this 1976, they’d be on Island produced by Eno.

06 :: Martha Johnson – Solo ● One (Muffin Music) :: You know Martha as the voice of the Muffins, most memorably on their “Echo Beach” single, but this new intelligent and elegant album elevates her already iconic voice into an even more resonant state of sublime emotive evocation that’s full of verve and swerve.

07 :: Marco Minnemann – EEPS (Lazy Bones Recordings) :: Marco Minnemann plays the drums like Jeff Beck plays the guitar, which pretty much tells you all you need to know about this unreasonably hypersonic session that sounds like a kinetic cross between Todd Rundgren and Frank Zappa performing their most visionary and volatile audio pyrotechnics.

08 :: Betty Moon – Amourphous (Evolver) :: Years ago I pegged Betty as a “heavy hard rockin’ revolutionary hellion who’s got a slinky ’n’ sly predatory eye on your dangling prize” and this new long player of hers more than ably props up that profile by producing an even more swaggering shot of style, if that’s possible—and it most certainly is.

09 :: Mr. Airplane Man – Long Lost! The Unreleased Fat Possum Sessions (Moanin’ Records) :: Wherein my two favorite blues-beltin’ babes are back with a forty minute ten tracker that should’ve come out eons ago but is well worth the wait. If you only listen to one snaky slide guitar session while waiting for your midnight crossroads appointment to arrive, make sure it’s this one.

10 :: Various Artists – 24 Classic Blues Songs From The 1920s Volume 11 (Blues Images) :: For years I’ve been bending your ear about John Tefteller’s annual Blues Images calendars, each one of which is accompanied by a long player of vintage historical 78 rpm tracks. Well, consider this a friendly reminder that it’s high time you went to BluesImages.com and found out for yourself why the 2014 edition made my Top Ten list. Better yet, go there now and start the new year right by buying their 2015 wall calendar and getting a head start on hearing why the accompanying Volume 12 disc is bound to be glorified on next year’s Top Ten list!

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #451.54!

Cold – A Different Kind Of Pain (Flip) :: Coldplay. Coldpain. Coldpause. Coldeject. Coldreject.

Yip-Yap – Pro-Twelve Thinker (Strictly Amateur Films) :: If the names Korg, Roland, Casio and Stylophone mean anything to you, then you just might enjoy the primitive electronics krafted on this sparse sampling of snatches.

Brian Blain – Overqualified For The Blues (Northern Blues) :: Now here’s something you don’t hear every day: a bluesman singin’ the blues about how lousy the blues singin’ business is these days, and that’s a twist worthy of Ron Mael, who was a crotchety old bluesman himself in his own wry way.

Boris With Merzbow – Sun Baked Snow Cave (Hydra Head) :: One track, one hour long. An electro acoustic environmental excursion that makes Eno’s early ambient albums sound like Motörhead on speed—if that’s not too oxymoronic for ya.

Lilitu – The Delores Lesion (The End) :: They sound like they’ve been watching David Fincher’s Se7en a touch too much, but this just may be screamo prog rock at its best.

Conjure One – Extraordinary Ways (Nettwerk) :: MainMan touted Dana Gillespie as the female David Bowie, but the way this dish phrases comes a lot closer.

The Myriad – You Can’t Trust A Ladder (Floodgate) :: But you can trust the singer to shamelessly ape Bono.

Agents Of The Sun – Monarchs Of A Fallen Society (DCide) :: OK, so maybe shamelessly aping Bono isn’t such a grievous sin after all.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Rogue Wave – Descended Like Vultures (Sub Pop) :: Paul McCartney? Todd Rundgren? Brian Wilson? No, it’s the return of Zach Rogue, whose new pop album is every bit as good as last year’s Out Of The Shadows.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #450.53!

Orgy – Trans Global Spectacle 1997 - 2004 (D1) :: Whether they’re falling down stairs in stages or eliciting stares on stages, this modern stoned-age family has a gay old time for over two hours. Whether you laugh with them or at them is up to you.

Emery – The Question (Tooth & Nail) :: They look like they stepped out of a western, but their sound is strictly generic melodramatic screamo.

Everything At Once – Everything At Once (Linus) :: More generic melodramatic screamo from a group that prides itself on bloodily gouging their album title into the back of a naked woman.

The Beatles – Yesterday And Today (Capitol) :: And to think that their baby butcher cover was banned in 1966 for being offensive.

Alice Cooper – “Dead Babies” (Warner Bros.) :: On the other hand, astute social commentary is never offensive.

Kill Rock Stars – Video Fanzine III (Kill Rock Stars) :: If you’re into classic rock and have absolutely no idea what’s going on these days in the alternative world of nonmainstream music, then these 25 tracks of rampant fun ’n’ mayhem will either set you on the path to higher enlightenment or spook the heebie-jeebies out of you.

Moka Only – The Desired Effect (Battle Axe) :: The undesired effect is that this crap rap makes me nap.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Danzig – Il Demonio Nera (MDM) :: Volume 9 in the complete Danzig AV library features 12 different versions of six different videos, one of which features a very stacked nude babe. Offensive? Perhaps, perhaps not. But I predict that director Danzig will give director Zombie a run for his money by becoming the new Bob Guiccione of Satano Sinema™.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #449.52!

Various Artists – Run The Road (Last Gang) :: This clever compilation contains enough speed rap to give you whiplash. And although it may not be socially responsible to use the sampled sounds of jacked chambers and gun blasts as percussion on “Terror Danjah” by Cock Back, it’s a Kraftwerkian touch that gets my toe a-tappin’. And speaking of cocks...

Goblin Cock – Bagged And Boarded (Absolutely Kosher) :: They have a pierced knob on the front cover. Their singer is named Lord Phallus. Their guitarist is named Bane Ass-Pounder. Then how to explain that they sound like Blue Cheer on Valium? I know: They’re KISS in disguise!

Khanate – Capture And Release (Hydra Head) :: This spry little lease-breaker has but two tracks, the first of which runs 18:13 and consists of nothing but anguished screaming over ponderous power chords. The second is 25:03 of more of the same.

Vagina Dentata Organ – Sex Star (VDO) :: However, Jordi Valls did this kind of thing much better way back in 1986 by taping copulating couples instead.

Rosie Thomas – If Songs Could Be Held (Nettwerk) :: Thought-provoking; heartbreaking; life-affirming; Rosie is the female George Harrison, if you know what I mean.

A Wilhelm Scream – Ruiner (Nitro) :: Decades from now, if they ever grow up, these kids will regret that they ever recorded this album.

Abigail Washburn – Song Of The Traveling Daughter (Nettwerk) :: Banjo-pickin’ country music fused with Chinese melodies. Something new under the sun and then some.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: The Trews – Den Of Thieves (Epic) :: Wanna know why these hot young snots got to open for those cold shot spots the Stones?

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #448.51!

The Populars – The Vindicator EP (Kindling) :: The singer steals from Roger Daltry and the guitarist steals from Pete Townshend. But when I hear an ignorant chorus like, “I wish you’d hurry up and die,” all I hear is the Who without a clue. Someone should tell these clods to choose life instead before they die before they get old.

XBXRX – Sixth In Sixes (Polyvinyl) :: These blistered sisters are screamin’ it for themselves.

Doug Cox & Sam Harris – Hungry Ghosts (Northern Blues) :: When sci-fi author Spider Robinson writes in the liner notes about “Tibetan Buddhist cosmology” and the “Zen Masters” of acoustic roots music, he’s stretching because “Canned Heat Blues” sure ain’t music to read T. Lobsang Rampa’s Chapters Of Life by.

Doomriders – Black Thunder (Deathwish) :: This dark dose sure ain’t music to read Rampa by either, but a few chapters of Mickey Spillane’s The Last Cop Out might go down good while you listen to these hoarse Cooperish theatrics—although the Mick would surely disagree and, come to think of it, so would Alice.

Mark DeCerbo & For Eyes – Sweet On The Vine (Zip) :: I might like this competent album a whole lot better if Mark didn’t sound so much like Elvis Costello. Or is that John Lennon? Robin Zander?

Tricky Woo – First Blush (Last Gang):: These wasted wastrels strike enough preening poses to punk out the New York Dolls.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Messer Chups – Crazy Price (Ipecac) :: This “Telstar” meets “Out Of Limits” sonic sliver fuses a holy-cow campabilly cornball aesthetic with a low-brow surfabilly lounge mentality. It’s got a beat, you can geek to it, I give it a 10.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #447.50!

Good evening Mr. and Mrs. America and all the ships at sea! This is Jeffrey Morgan reporting! Stand by for the Tenth Anniversary Edition of your favorite weekly rock ’n’ roll media column, where every word I write is the unvarnished and unbiased gospel truth! Flash! Let’s go to press!

Page 1!

Chris Cornell & Phil Anselmo – Sing The Louis Armstrong Songbook (Blue Note) :: Screamo meets Satchmo! (A personal note from Jeffrey Morgan: Folks, I’ve listened to this album so you can believe me when I tell you that this dynamic duo is an absolute solid-gold knockout. If you haven’t heard it yet, call up your local radio station and demand that they play it!)

Page 2!

Courtney Love – Courtney At Carnegie Hall (Capitol) :: She’s the new Judy Garland! (A personal note from Jeffrey Morgan: Folks, I’ve listened to this album so you can believe me when I tell you that this young lady is an absolute double-platinum jewel. If you haven’t heard it yet, go to your local record store and demand that they sell you a copy!)

Page 3!

Paul Reubens & Queen – Sing The Cab Calloway Songbook (Savoy) :: Hiney hiney ho! (A personal note from Jeffrey Morgan: Folks, I’ve listened to this album so you can believe me when I tell you that these four lads are an absolute solid-gold double-platinum jewel of a knockout. If you haven’t seen them yet, go to your local ticket booth and demand that they give you the best seats!)

Page 4!

And so until next week, I remain your worldwide correspondent who has come to the conclusion—after listening to some of the latest records—that the wrong musicians are out of work!

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #446.49!

Corb Lund – Hair In My Eyes Like A Highland Steer (Stony Plain) :: Maybe I ain’t been listenin’ carefully, but I ain’t heard an album with yoyo yodelin’ on it since Eno’s ululatin’ “Seven Deadly Finns.” Well, thanks to this fine fiddlin’ country album, I stand corrected. Bonus points for letting Ramblin’ Jack Elliott sing.

Nural – The Weight Of The World (Hopeless) :: What separates these teens from their boring older brethren is an ability to vary the beat and have a Geddy-esque singer who seems to know what the word “passion” means.

Mediaeval Baebes – Mirabilis (Nettwerk) :: What we got here are eight—count ’em, eight—come-hither hotties who’ve managed to come up with an ethereal Celtic cross between Mike Oldfield’s Ommadawn and Jethro Tull’s Songs From The Woods. I kid ye not.

Loren Drive – Romantic Wealth (Lobster) :: More like a pedantic wealth of angst-driven drivel.

Otis Taylor – Below The Fold (Telarc) :: The next time someone tells you that the art of storytelling songwriting is dead, play them this intelligent brain-blistering blues album that sounds like an archival roots recording but is as vital as the blood coursing through your veins.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: The Click Five – Greetings From Imrie House (Lava) :: Yeah, yeah, yeah, their name is meant to evoke Dave Clark’s saxified beat combo, but this new Five alive jive straddles the gap betwixt Cheap Trick and the Cars, with a Strawberries dollopdash guaranteed to keep your tail wagging. And each copy contains a different bubble gum card, so collect them all.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #445.48!

Led Zeppelin – Led Zeppelin (Atlantic) :: If he keeps on strainin’ the larynx gonna break.

Shelby – The Luxury Of Time (Gigantic Music) :: Steve McQueen is their hero, which explains why Virgil Hilts might’ve gotten over that second barbed wire barrier had he been listening to “Green Eyes” at the time.

Hurst – Wanderlust (Round Rock) :: And if he’d been listening to this slammin’ Sammy slice of Hagarock, the Cooler King could’ve dug all three tunnels by himself.

Led Zeppelin – Led Zeppelin II (Atlantic) :: If he keeps on strainin’ the larynx gonna break.

Paul Brickhill – The Great Escape (Faber and Faber) :: If all you know is the movie, then you only know part of the story, because Brickhill’s account is a premier page turner.

Paul Winchell (R.I.P.) :: Tigger? I remember him as the ventriloquist straight man to Jerry Mahoney and Knucklehead. But it doesn’t matter what he’s remembered for, as long as he’s remembered.

Robert Plant – Mighty Rearranger (Sanctuary) :: When the larynx breaks, mama, he got to croon.

SIZZLING SERIES OF THE WEEK: Airwolf – Season One (Universal Home Video DVD) :: If you missed this Blue Thunder superchopper knock-off when it first aired a few decades back, now’s your chance to atone for your grievous sin of omission by buying this two-disc set. Not only does Jan Michael Vincent beat Roy Schneider at his own ace stealth pilot game, there’s the extra bonus of getting to watch co-star Ernest “McHale” Borgnine cranked up and kvetching in his best Escape From New York “Cabbie” comedy relief mode.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #444.47!

Bobby Love – Rare Herbs (Funky Delicacies) :: The freakalicious flute king of New Orleans funk is back on track to cream the scene clean with this musky collection of vintage tracks from 1974 that’ll have your gal dropping down to play one too.

Towers Of London – Towers Of London (TVT) :: Memo to publicity: The next time you mail out a press package, remember to put a copy of the record in the envelope. No wonder Reznor left.

Silverstein – Discovering The Waterfront (Victory) :: “My Heroine.” Worst drug song ever.

Erin McKeown – We Will Become Like Birds (Nettwerk) :: There’s a gag here somewhere about one in the hand or two in the bush, but I’ll be gosh darned if I can find it.

A.R.E. Weapons – Free In The Streets (Defend) :: Synthesized grandeur with a bombastic basting, this would be the result if INXS hired Jim Morrison.

Hermon Hitson – You Are Too Much For The Human Heart (Soul Tay Shus) :: If you’d like to hear one of the most stirring voices in the history of soul, then pick up this exemplary testimonial that was recorded between 1961 and 1970.

Jerry Lewis – Jerry Lewis Sings! (Decca) :: Schlock-a-bye your baby.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Wolf Parade – Wolf Parade (Sub Pop) :: “Shine A Light” lifts its title from Exile On Main St. and its opening riff from “Get Back.” Then Sam Kinison joins Pere Ubu for a vocal rave-up on “You Are a Runner And I Am My Father’s Son.” But the kicker is “Disco Sheets,” which is about as close to a Number One In Heaven outtake as you’re likely to get at this late date.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #443.46!

The Amino Acids – Destroy The Warming Sun! (Bowlophonic) :: And you thought Apple was a stupid name for a record label.

The Ribeye Brothers – Bar Ballads And Cautionary Tales (Times Beach) :: They pump a hot Farfisa and aren’t afraid to quote Roberto Duran screaming “No mas! No mas!” This just might be the boozy band Jim Morrison would’ve formed had he gotten out of that tub in Paris.

Voltage – Building The Bass Castle, Volume 1 (Flameshovel) :: Spastic and sporadic retarded guitar instrumentals that are fretfully confused and prone to wandering.

Demander – Demander (Triplicate) :: Now here’s an album that just reeks of strident fem attitude—which I guess is to be expected given that some of the band members have played in the company of Nancy Sinatra. But don’t be misled because their punky pop boots are made for stalkin’ and one of these days, well, you know.

High On Fire – Blessed Black Wings (Relapse) :: As you might hope, producer Steve “Skinng” Albini gets a ferocious sound out of these guys. Then the guitarist, who can’t sing a note to save his life, has to go and ruin everything by opening his mouth.

Motörhead – Orgasmatron (GWR) :: Not that I have anything against guys who can’t sing opening their mouths, mind you.

Xiu Xiu – Sings The Cole Porter Songbook (5RC) :: Then again...

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: The Aminio Acids – Destroy The Warming Sun! (Bowlophonic) :: Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, but this “Telstar” meets “Out of Limits” sonic sliver fuses a holy-cow campabilly cornball aesthetic with a lowbrow thrashabilly scrounge mentality. It’s got a bleat, you can sheep to it; I give it a Sven.

Be shearing you!

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #442.45!

The Daughtermelons™ – Rindhouse (Seed Spitter) :: What a great name for an all girl rock ’n’ roll band! Unfortunately they don’t exist because I thought up the name myself. But when Kim Fowley steals it, just remember that you read it here first.

Bob Dylan – Live At The Gaslight 1962 (Sony) :: He would’ve played at a Starbucks, but there weren’t any back then.

Federation X – Rally Day (Estrus!) :: This follow-up to X Patriot includes some good Ted Nugent meets Page Hamilton singing, some good Grand Funk meets Kyuss playing and some truly atrocious Terry Knight meets Helen Keller sound production that’s so bad it’s good.

Naomi Klein – No Logo (Picador) :: Logos are bad. Unless of course it’s the trendy designer logo that’s plastered on the front cover of your own overrated, overhyped, and overstocked delete bin book.

Bob Dylan – Live At Starbucks (Starbucks Music) :: Well he’s a Starbucker, Starbucker, Starbucker, Starbucker star. Oh, yes you are, yes you are.

Billy Joel™ – Always Crashing In The Same Car (Bye Bye Brinkley) :: Kids, never give your money to anyone who has a registered trademark symbol next to their name on an album cover.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: T.A.G.C. Meontological Research Recordings – Teste Tones (Soleilmoon) :: Still using Metal Machine Music to buff your brainpan shiny? Then it’s time to upgrade to this sonic tonic that’s so potent it packs a proviso: “Warning! Care Should Be Taken During Playback Of The Recording As Certain Frequency Information Could Damage Under-Specified Loudspeakers At High Db Levels.” Yeah, like that stopped me from cranking it up.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #441.44!

Lenny Bruce – Thank You Mask Man (Fantasy) :: No, thank you.

Andrew Dice Clay – The Diceman Cometh (American) :: Now, more than ever.

Vaughn Meader – The First Family (Cadence) :: He looked like JFK, he sounded like JFK, and three shots later his comedy career was as dead as JFK.

Bob Booker & George Foster — You Don’t Have To Be Jewish (Kapp) :: Lou Jacobi! Frank Gallop! Jack Gilford! So what’s not to like?

Don Rickles – Hello Dummy! (Warner Bros.) :: This hockey puck needs a box-set retrospective.

Rodney Dangerfield — No Respect (MCA) :: Here’s another guy who’s got no retrospective, no retrospective at all.

Sam Kinison – Live From Hell (Priority) :: Oh! Ohhhhhhh! Add this 96-decibel freak to the want list!

Groucho Marx – An Evening With Groucho (A&M) :: Erin Fleming is the Yoko Ono of comedy.

Rusty Warren – Knockers Up! (Jubilee) :: Oh yasss!

Steve Martin – Let’s Get Small (Warner Bros.) :: The Metallica of comedy is a mild and lazy guy.

Bill Cosby – Revenge (Warner Bros.) :: The Cos was a very funny fellow.

Eddie Murphy – The Haunted Mansion (Disney) :: Eddie, what happened?

Richard Pryor – Live On The Sunset Strip (Warner Bros.) :: A 50-foot solid gold monument wouldn’t even begin to do the man proper justice.

Bob Newhart – The Button Down Mind Of Bob Newhart (Warner Bros.) :: “King Kong” will remind you why Bob’s cool.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Shelley Berman – Inside Shelley Berman (Verve) :: But the coolest of the cool remains Mr. Berman, who’s still making bridled anxiety an art. Even cooler: His classic telephone routines are more relevant today than they were back in the ’50s.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #440.43!

Buckwheat Zydeco – Jackpot! (Tomorrow) :: Purists may decry the primitive Bill Haley commerciality of songs like “Rock, Boogie, Shout” but Buck’s turgid, son, which is why this just might be the biggest-selling record of his career.

Embrace – Out Of Nothing (Lava) :: Power balladry at its best, even if their enveloping anthems do sound a bit too U2 for my liking.

Situation Nowhere – One Of The Loudest Tragedies Ever Heard (Wedgie) :: Their wonky inflective singer sounds just like Pee-Wee Herman, but the playhouse pudknocker never had a butane-burning band like this rocking out behind him.

Icky Boyfriends – A Love Obscene (Menlo Park) :: Talent is an asset and these retards don’t have it.

Flashlight Arcade – The Art Of Blacking Out (OTR) :: Yet another poky record from five slackids too lazy to spell-check their inane lyrics.

Scary Kids Scaring Kids – The City Sleeps In Flames (Immortal) :: The singer’s vox sounds a little like John Foxx so why does he insist on screaming?

Kazzer – Broke (Linus) :: When a “marshal arts champion” makes a rap record, I expect to hear the aural equivalent of lean, mean Ken Shamrock, not gabby flabby Chris Tucker.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Chris Beard – Live Wire (Northern Blues) :: Now here’s one Chris who ain’t tuckered out, not by a long shot. Taped on stage in Michigan and Chicago and in the studio in New York, guitarist CB gets hot on the sizzlin’ JB funkified sax ’n’ organ good foot with an added dose of primo Prince percolation tossed in for bad bluesy measure.

Be seeing you!